Terrib
your story mirrors Alex's experience. He wanted to eat, tortured himself with food channel shows and even took Jamie Oliver, Rick Stein, and River Cottage DVDs into hospital with him.

Alex loves to cook but by the time he had finished cooking anything, the smell had wiped out his appetite and made him feel sick. Solution: reheat ready prepared meals or eat meals prepared by others (eg eat out).

Problem number two: three mouthfuls into a meal, Alex felt nauseous and bloated and felt if he had one more mouthful he would be sick. Being sick - besides being painful, and embarrassing at times, also meant that all his hard work eating the previous 3 mouthfuls was for naught. A disincentive for sure. Solution: don't push the next mouthful if he really thinks it will end up in tears.

Problem number three: fear of gagging, choking or throwing up caused Alex to refuse to eat in public. Solution: Don't make him eat in public - give him something to do whilst everyone else is eating - serve the drinks, keep the conversation running, take over the music choices. During a fondue/steamboat party with friends, Alex prepared the wontons at the table which made him feel useful and didn't bother him at all.

To add insult to injury, the oncologist chastised Alex for his lack of eating 3 months after treatment finished, told him to "try harder" and suggested he needed to "get over" his taste, smell and swallowing issues. I responded at the time with a fair fit of hissy. When I had stopped shaking, I wrote a letter outlining Alex's issues and why the doctors response was inappropriate. I will attach the letter in a private message for your information. Please ignore the bit about the steroids which was done because Alex had lost so much weight he had also lost muscle mass and needed help (he went from 75kgs to 48kgs during his worst period).

What the doctors don't tell you is the chemo - particularly cisplatin, causes ulcers and inflammation all the way through the gastro-intestinal system - not just the oral cavity. I believe that the bloating and feeling of nausea, are related to this and can take months to settle down (pain killers wouldn't help either).

The doctors also seem ignorant of the fact just how severe physical reactions to disturbed sense of taste and smell can be and cannot simply be "outpsyched" by "trying harder". Your husband needs support and sympathy as long as you are confident he is doing his best. If he is not eating there is likely a really good reason for it. If he can sustain himself with his PEG then so be it for a little while longer. He needs to wait for his body, not just his mouth to recover.

Alex's case may be a little extreme and hopefully your husband will not suffer quite as long as Alex has. But if he does - it is not that uncommon to suffer for months with bloating and nausea.

Hopefully the speech pathologist or swallowing therapist will be a bit more practical in their advice - ours certainly saved Alex's sanity and stopped him from leaping from the balcony believing himself to be a total failure.