Hi Patty,
After I got over the shock of the Dx, I immediately got into researching treatment options, mainly on the internet. I work as a consultant for radiological devices so I had some help on where to start. This site is a great place for information.

There are probably more than a few more tests he will need before they give treatment options. Some typical tests are:

Radiological: PET (state of the art -PET/CT AKA Image fusion), CT, MRI, chest x-ray, Ultrasound (sometimes)

Bio-physical: bloodwork, kidney function test, biopsy, exam w/endoscope (a very tiny one that goes down the nose -don't worry, they numb you first and you won't feel a thing).

After they have done ALL of these, then they will develop a treatment plan. If radiation is indicated, then they will have to write software for a treatment plan for that. (if I missed any, feel free to chime in)

Hopefully you'll have access to a coodinated team of doctors, usually of a radiation oncologist, oncologist (for chemo) and a head and neck surgeon or ENT.

The main thing to focus on at this early stage is to make sure that all of the Dx testing is done promptly.

I would think that the difference between men and women, perhaps, is we are possibly more resistent to having a PEG feeding tube put in - I don't know. Like we macho men don't like being hooked up to tubes or something.

I do notice a fair amount of caregivers (particularly wives) writing here for information, yet the patient doesn't -what does that mean - I don't know. Maybe Brian Hill can offer an opinion.

Advice from one man to another: This is a good time to suck in your pride and listen to medical advice, do your homework, get multiple opinions, EXPECT miracles, prepare yourself mentally for a little bit of suffering. Look for the joy in this and appreciate the life you have been given. Treat those you love with patience and respect and remember that they have no clue what you are going through as much as they want to help. Use this time to examine your old life and see how the new one can be improved on. Don't be embarrassed to seek help and support. It is a great gift for people to be able to help you. Take it one day (sometimes one breath) at a time and don't give up. Cancer IS NOT an automatic death sentence.

One last word: If you drink (or abuse substances), smoke or chew QUIT NOW!
Don't be an idiot - that stuff WILL kill you.
Denial is NOT a river in Eygpt.