My mother was diagnosed with oral cancer (early stage polymorphous low-grade adenocarcinoma) back in April.

Earlier this month, my mom had three teeth extracted and a sizable portion of her palate excised. Her doctors also removed cancer from her nasal cavity as well as a lymph node(s) and surrounding tissues in her neck. She was fitted for an artificial palate, or obturator. When my mom isn't wearing this prosthesis, we can barely understand her speech. Her ability to eat, drink, talk, swallow, and even smile has been greatly affected. It has been so upsetting for me to see her like this.

In the upcoming months she is going to need radiation as her oncologist had a difficult time removing the cancer from her neck and felt he might not have gotten it all.

Everyone in my family is panicking because my mother is hardly eating and not really exercising. (Her doctors recommended a soft mechanical diet and exercise, both of which she has not been up to.)

I seem to be alone in thinking she is doing well considering the fact that she went through a tough surgery and has this awkward prosthesis in her mouth. She also developed an infection in her mouth (thrush) and it was terribly painful, but she is taking antibiotics for that now and is much better. This infection definitely impeded her interest in eating/drinking as she described to us that her "tongue felt like it was on fire." She also has chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD) from years of smoking and this has stalled her desire to exercise beyond walking around the house.

Will breathing, eating, swallowing, and talking will ever be the same? The obturator appears more of an obstruction for her right now. Whenever she tries to eat/drink, food or liquid passes over the top of the obturator and out of her nose or slips out of her mouth as if she is drooling. Her left cheek is numb and she says she can't really taste much of anything. The desire to eat is simply not there, but she has craved liquids. Her throat and mouth are very dry, but she struggles to get liquids down. I have suggested freezing Ensure into ice pops which seemed to help. I have offered to help her in any way that I can and feel helpless when she declines my offers. I try to encourage her to eat/drink and exercise, but I don't want to push her.

I have to believe that in time (and I know it will be a slow process) she will regain more of her appetite (which was never large to begin with) and will exercise more often. My mother's life has been forever altered and I know she is still acclimating.

My mother and I have always been very close but ever since she was diagnosed with oral cancer, I have felt her slowly drift away from me. I feel helpless and awkward around her at times because I don't know what to say or do to help her through this.

Please, if anyone has advice on how I might be of more help to my mom I would greatly appreciate suggestions. Cancer used to be a word until it invaded my mom's life. I never knew how insidious this disease was and I my heart goes out to all whose lives have been touched by it.