I feel so feeble for being in bits because of a "it's probably nothing" biopsy. But I feel that if I don't get the results soon I will explode into a million tiny pieces. No amount of tough self talk will help.

Realised last night that it's not just the biopsy but about three other major stresses which have dragged me down since Christmas and have stripped the tough skin off my coping skills. I got quite depressed after helping a son (successfully) through a potential relationship break-up. I have recently felt a lot of self pity (should feel sorry for HIM) about my older husband's memory and cognitive decline.

Other parts of my life have gone quite well but there've been some cataclysmic changes so I'm probably wobbling on the verge of depression.

Even if I get a good result, I think I'll be in a slump. I will get help!

One good thing I did was to ring the clinic and ask to talk to the registrar. All the doctors are on a week long course but the very kind receptionist said that she'll make sure the results will be faxed to the GP if they get there by Friday.

So I took some assertive action for myself - made me feel a wee bit better.

Just trying to clear the mental clutter here and there's nothing quite like writing it down.