Welcome to OCF, Yvonne. you will find all the support you need to help both you and your daughter get thru this. First of all, foget statistics!!!!! Its only numbers. They will make you nuts. Im a 3 time oral cancer survivor, I shouldnt be here but I still am. A big thing in her favor is her age, she is young and can handle things better than someone older like in their 70s.

I think you are confused in the role you will be playing. It sounds like you will be her caregiver. Is your daughter married? Any other brothers or sister? A list should be made of every person who has offered to help and their phone numbers. Even if its to take the kids to a movie or to McDonalds for lunch, it will help your daughter. Maybe someone can do her laundry one week, or some friends could cook the family dinner a few nights per week. Anything like that will make a huge difference in her life.

Things will get difficult. I was not able to work after about week #2 of radiation. I was so weak I also stopped driving for safety reasons. I spent alot of time in bed. Fatigue is a hard side effect to get over. She probably will not be able to work thru the treatments. Most people do not work thru it, its just too difficult. Same with exercising, she will not have alot of strength and doing any strenuous exercises will zap the energy she has. Of course if she is able to take walks or ride a bike with the kids that something else, Im talking about heavy duty working out. That will get to be too much and should not push her to overdo it.

Nutrition and hydration will play a key role in how she feels. If she gets enough calories and water daily it will make things much easier on her. She will need 2500+ calories and 48oz+ of water daily. More is even better, if she gets 3000 or 3500 calories its great just like if she can get 64 oz water thats great! It will help her to flush out the chemo from her body. Calories will be burned up very quickly while fighting this disease. Eating will become very difficult. Her taste will be altered. She may have to depend on a feeding tube which means no lifting children over 20 pounds.

I do not want to scare you with what I have written. I have told you how things are and it wont be easy. Its important that you know going into this how to help her. Make sure she gets the proper nutrition or she can wind up being hospitalized for dehydration and malnutrition. It would be a very good idea for your daughter to join OCF so she can see hope and read others stories. Many patients and their caregivers take anti depressants to help them deal with this. It doesnt mean anyone is weak or anything negative, it is a huge change that is happening and it must be taken care of, this can make her feel out of control of her life. This isnt easy but she will get thru it just fine. All the side effects will get better in time and next year this time she will be good!

Please ask any questions you can think of. Also it helps us if you would add a signature so its easier to respond to you. The signature is located in the my stuff tab, then profile, the box on the bottom is where you put the info.