Jo,

Imagine that... I don't have your same cancer, but I literally just texted someone about my own lack of enthusiasm for rad/chemo.

Last month, 9/15, I had about 75% of my tongue carved out (clear margins)and reconstructed from my left forearm. Skin graft from leg. 50 nodes pulled and checked - all negative. But, there was one under my old tongue that was positive.

Because of that one, I'm up for nine weeks of Cisplatin(sp?) with concurrent radiation (30x). Both of which I'm dreading. I feel like it's going to be slow and painful. If it were up to me, I'd quit now and be cool with it. I'm down with the scars (had a major car accident a while back 150+ stitches in my face), I can eat most what I want (except for that damn tortilla chip last week - lesson learned!), my sharkbite (arm) isn't bad and I can speak (mostly) and swallow.

Fifteenth of this month (November)I start treatments. Had my "mask" made last Friday. Had "chemo class" last Wednesday. Was told that I'm borderline anemic and will likely need transfusions and to go in for hydration as well.

While I can't necessarily offer the experience you're looking for, I can tell you that you're not alone at this point (physically or mentally) and that if you'd ever like to talk about this I'm just a PM away.

I wish you well and hope for the best!

Scott