Thanks Angelia, my thoughts are with you at the moment. I am in a real fix. My partner just won't take action. I had a look at his mouth again yesterday and although there are no lumps or bumps his tonsil area definitely looks redder to me than I think it should. But he just says he has been seen by 2 doctors and I am not a medic. I can't believe he still puts any value on a GP's assessment after they failed to diagnose him and my experience reading here suggests that there is no point relying on their opinions. In all honesty he is a personality that prefers not taking responsibility for himself and finds it easier to accept what they say, not necessarily because he really believes them as he is a natural sceptic about everything else than his cancer.

He is worried about being perceived to be crying wolf and that questioning the ENT may backfire. We have pushed them for answers all along - well I haveas I had read a great deal and don't have great faith in them. Unfortunately I don't think he has a real handle on the limited scope of treatment options that might be available to him if this did prove to be malignant. Although his original cancer was on the other side of his mouth, I am pretty sure that both tonsils were included in the radiotherapy field.

It has got to the stage where I feel I have to scare him into action which is horrible, because his way of dealing with the disease - not reading too much has enabled him to get on with life to a greater extent than I think I would be able were I in his shoes. We just get into arguments and he gets really sad and worried and it breaks my heart.

My great hope is in his dentist who is also a great friend. She qualified relatively recently and is really thorough and up on oral cancers - recently got some one diagnosed whom the ENT had missed. We are going to a party with her in 10 days and I am deperately hoping I can get him to show her his mouth, but he may refuse in which case it will have to wait until she gives him a check up in 3 weeks. He may also put her down as just being a dentist!!

It is so difficult I don't know whether I am over worrying or not. But If I was in his shoes I would take Brian Hill's advice and push until I had an explanation for what he thinks has been a change in his mouth.

Ughhhh
Cathy