Brandy,

Two things I'd like to share with you based on your original post Oct 18th. From "The Ten Commandments for Cancer Survival":

#4. Thou shalt regard thy ailment as a temporary detour in life and shalt plan thy future as though this detour had not occurred. Thou shalt never, at no time, no how, regard thy temporary ailment as permanent. Thou shalt set long-term goals for thyself. For thou will verily recover and your believing so will contribute mightily to thy recovery.

#10. Thou shalt have enduring and unassailable faith, whether thy faith be in a Supreme Being, in Medical Science, in Thy Future, in Thyself, or in Whatever. Steadfastly sustain thy faith for it shall sustain thee.

Hang in there, and you will eventually see these through.

Jojo