He's made it to the last 2 weeks and now he wants to quit. I've tried saying everything I can think of, what to do? The onc tried encouraging him, the radiologists was no help, saying she can't make him. He told me mentally he has nothing left. One day it's the vomiting thats so bad the next day it's the pain. He's getting about 1,500 cal a day with his feeding tube, he's on 100mg patch. We're going now to get IV from oncology.

Hi Deborah,

The last two weeks are the hardest but I think maybe the most important. I wanted to quit too, but hung in there and he must also. Would they give him some morphine? I had as much as I wanted and it really helped with the pain.

Handling the pain is the toughest. Tell him quitting is not the answer and we all must complete the regimine.

Good luck,

Steve Daib

Deborah,

My father has been saying the same thing but Monday he went to his ENT for the 6 week check and the ENT did a good job of explaining cancer cells in simple terms or maybe for once my father just decided to listen to him. Whatever the case it bought us at least another week of getting him to continue radiation. He told my father that cancer cells have four stages and radiation treats these cells at stage 3 if you skip a week or quit early these cells may have time to go to stage 4 and will not be killed by the radiation because they were able to have time to make it to stage 4. It might be worth a shot - I know it is hard but I also agree with Steve try different or more pain meds and as I keep telling my father - it won't last forever there is an end to the treatments and it will eventually get better.
Hang in there!

You might try reversing you psychological approach. What would Jesus/God want you to do? Guilt of abandonment of chidren. All good approaches....
Darrell

Hi Deborah. I don't know if your husband has any anti-anxiety or anti-depression medicine prescribed, but if not, I would highly recommend it. My husband had Ativan and Xanax at his disposal for anxiety, which he would take at night to help him sleep and sometimes during the day, particularly before radiation. He started taking Zoloft (50 mg. at bedtime) about halfway through treatment at the suggestion of our RO, and that really helped. The Zoloft doesn't take 2-3 weeks before it begins working, like some anti-depressants. I saw a difference in about 1 week. My husband's attitude definitely improved. I hope you can get him to reconsider. I wish you the best.

Michele

Deborah,
He has to make a choice whether he wants to live or not. My oncologist told me that, in his experience, patients who did not complete treatment had very poor survival rates.

Michele's advice is very solid - talk to your oncologist immediately about this. Forget the radiologist or the RO - this is an MO issue -he should managing all of the meds.

Your breaking the rules (again) Darrell - you have been told before that unless the original poster brings up the subject of religion, God or Jesus, then we can't (See Romans 13:1-7). You really think that guilt or shame is a good approach - thank God you're not in counseling.

This is very hard stuff to deal with Deb. I've got my fingers crossed for both of you. Keep talking to him. Amy

Amy is correct. Sharing your feelings is perfectly ok.

The last couple of weeks in Tx and a few weeks post Tx is the worst. Five weeks total and he should be out of the woods. I was sick a lot too, just like him, but I have too much to live for and I was determined that I wouldn't let the treatment kill me. I didn't even have a PEG.

Let him know that we have been in his shoes and we are all pulling for him.

Deborah
I hope for all of your sakes he has change of heart.
This is a terrible and tough time in his treatment , we are all pulling for you.

I live in Lawrenceville, would you like to talk?
678-377-7992
Marica

thank you all so much for your support and your suggesstions. We made it thru the week, he took one day off, that amount of rest seemed to really help and the vomiting is more under control now. They started him on the liquid oxycodone in the tube every 4 hrs, so the pain is better. He said he felt he was spinning out of control, he's promised to continue to try. Our son is home from college this weekend and that seemed to lift his spirits and it certainly helps me physically to share the load a little. Marica thank you for reaching out, if you don't mind I will call this weekend, I'm just too tired tonight.

Oxycodone (AKA Vicodin) is kind of lightweight for this stage of his treatment - is it really working for him? Oxycontin or Duragesic (AKA Fentanyl) are much more effective for long term pain relief. I used morphine sulfate for breakthrough pain.

Call anytime Deborah....I will be happy to talk to you. If you think he would... it might be good for your hubby to talk to mine. Pete is real easy to talk to and maybe he can lift his spirits a little.
Take Care
Marica

I wanted to quit at the same stage as well & asked everybody what would happen if I did. Well, I somehow kept going & finished tx. I did stop the last cisplatin round though & my hemonc guy said it was not a good idea, but he would agree to it if I would finish radiation. Those wer'e tough times, no question about it! Never been so low in all my life! Tell him he does not have to care anymore, just that he has to finish. Tell him he can be mad as hell or whatever it takes to just get him to complete the treatment. Tell him I'm pullin' for him! Erik

It never ceases to amaze me how many strong and caring people there are on this forum.I, for one, am very thankful to have found you. Amy

Doborah - He really is in the hardest part right now. Pain should be managed with good oncology. If he is hurting, he should be talking to his doc about it. Suffering is optional.

There are many things to help control nausea. If he is vomiting, he is losing fluids. Getting dehydrated is the very worst thing to do. The slogan in our chemo room was "double your fluids, halve your symptoms" and it truly is true. It has nothing to do with being thirsty - think of the water as a drug. Ask how much he should be taking - you'll be surprised how much! (For me it was 3 liters per day!!)

I had to get over 2600 calories per day - just to have the strength to get out of bed and go to the clinic. Please give some thought to LOTS more water, and lots more calories. The water will help the most. Be strong. You guys can do it. Tom

Thank you so much to all of you, he's in the hospital now, developed infection and fever, so it's just so hard to put one foot in front of the other. Has anyone continued their treatment while in the hospital. I'm afraid he definitely won't finish now. You all know how exhausted we both are, he doesnt want me to leave him for a minute, he's afraid they will make a mistake with his drugs.

Deborah
So sorry to hear that - I can only imagine how exhausted you both are - I would seek out the oncologist as much as I could and discuss things going forward. Sure you have probably done that but he has to help decide the next step. He is so close to finishing radiation - Be strong and I will keep you and your family in my prayers
Take Care!

Deborah, if you are staying with him in the hospital, insist on a recliner or bed that you can sleep in. No doubt he will do better with you there, but you've got to get some rest in order to stay on tops of the things that are happening. Hang in there. Amy

Deborah-
I am sorry to hear what you and your husband are going thru. It is such a diffucult journey. The pain was such a horrid part for Charlie, who just finished his treatment on Friday. He woke up around 2 am on tuesday and said "I QUIT!", but there was nothing left to quit.
I pray for you and your husband and let God give you the strengh to finish this out.
Best of wishes!
How much longer does he have now? One week-right?

deb,

Not much to say that already hasnt.

Except this.

You might want to tell him this:

He has reached the point in the treatment where he wont feel any worse by continuing. As bad as he feels right now, is as bad as he is going to feel.

AND, he is going to feel that way for a while weather he finishes or not.

So, for the sake of the family, for the sake of your life, for the sake of your marrige,
get the two more treatments.

I know. I felt exactly the same way. Thats what my doctors told me and it worked. And here I am two years later able to tell my story. Also, Get some stronger pain meds ASAP.

Peace and love to you and yours.
Robert Hamilton

Unfortunately he seems worse today, the infection has really taken hold, he's lost his voice, and is twitching. They put a central line in, he got a shot to try and boost his white blood count, no results on blood cultures yet. Has anyone experienced any of these symptoms? The doc said he may be in the hospital a week and won't be able to take any treatments until hes much stronger. No thought of that now, I'm just praying we can get the infection under control. He doesnt know I'm there most of the time so I came home tonight to get some sleep, it's impossible to get any at the hospital.

Deborah
Pete was also in hospital, went in for dehyration and ended up with an infection. He missed one week of radiation, after that he was transported by ambulance for two weeks.
I know this is very hard on you both, do you have any family members he would trust to stay with him while you rest?
I must admit I can understand his fear...it`s a very real possibility.
Where are you , can I help?

Hang in Deborah it won`t be long now.
Take Care
Marica