hi everyone
I've not posted much lately, two reasons. firstly my surgery with the ENT didn't go as expected, They couldn't laser as there was no scar tissue in the trachea, just a narrowing giving me 30% less air than I should have and the only way to fix this is by resection of my trachea, a procedure that sounds pretty major to me.
Secondly my Mum has just been DX with stage 3 inoperable oesophagus cancer, they have put in a stent so she can eat soft food, but it's only 4 months since my Dad died and they had been married almost 60 years and I'm not sure she is ready for a fight with radiotherapy and chemo, I know she is 80 years old but she is bright as a button and supported me all through my ops, looked after me and my blind husband, so she put all of us first and now she is so ill, she has lost at least 44lb and I think only the morphine is keeping her going.
Just needed to vent and explain my limited posts
What a s###ty mess
Sunshine... love and hugs
Helen

Life isn't fair Helen. Sorry to hear about your Mom. I don't know if I would go thru surgery, chemo and radiation at 80 years old. It's tough enough at 55.
Hoping all turns out well with you.

Danny Boy

So sorry to hear of your sad news, Helen. You aren't the only one suffering, as my best friend for the past decade suddenly died this week, at age 40. Like your mother, she was my number one supporter through all of this cancer business and the loss of her has been quite palpable.

Despite my grief, I keep pushing myself to make progress, as I know she wouldn't want me going down the deep hole again. Several months ago she verbally kicked my butt to get out of my "angry place" and find more of my own self again.

All I can say is that 2005 isn't going to be my favorite year on this planet. I'm hoping all the bad stuff is behind me now.

My hand is in yours, and I hope we both have better times ahead of us.

Jen

I will light a candle in prayer for you and your mom as well Helen. Life can be so hard sometimes. One day we will find out why some lives are harder than other ones. I hope you keep coming in here so we can all have hugs. You are loved.

May God be with you,
Barbara~

Helen, You and your Mum will be in my prayers also. Amy

Dear Helen,
I'm so sorry to hear about all of the sh*t you've been going through. You've been through so much and I want you to know that you're in my thoughts. I'm sending you a giant hug across the pond.
All my best,
Dave

Helen, to quote my students, sometimes life "just sucks", but people are here for you. Good wishes coming your way from this side of the globe.

Hi Helen,

As the other Aussie "oceanangel" qouted, "life sucks" ...very damn true at times.

To quote someone who is so strong: "...Sunshine, love and hugs"... from me also, and if you were here in "Down Under", I'd get you the nicest red available.

Tizz

I keep asking myself what I did to deserve all of this. There is no answer. Try to stay positive. (easier said than done)
You and your mother will be in my prayers.

Helen, I'm so sorry about how things are going. Your mom sounds like such a fighter going through surgery chemo and rad at age 80. Life really does just suck at times and there is very little else to say except you are in my best and warmest thoughts, hoping you can find the light where it still shines.

nelie

Helen
Oh My girl,you have really been thrown in at the deep end haven`t you.
Kind of reminds me of " If it were not for bad luck I would have no luck at all".
You know what Helen ? you are one of the strongest, kindest, women I know. You have been so generous with your time to others on this board and you can bet that if good wishes can make a difference you will find your way through all this.
Our very best wishes for you and your Mum.
Take Care
Marica

Dear Helen

You have a lot to deal with at present. I am thinking of you along with all your supporters here - you have offered so much to us.

I send love and light to you and your Mum. Helen

Helen, My thoughts and prayers are with you and your Mum. Oh my, you have a lot on your plate, wish I were there to help in some way. Love, Carol

Helen
I if good thoughts could fix this you have them for sure...I don't know how hard it is to be in the driver seat making treatment decisions but I do know how hard it is to be a passenger,re your Mom...THe only way to is to have a frank disscusion with her regarding treatment and of course encourage her to be aggressive but be prepared to accept her choices..my granddad is 92 and also bright as a button dealing with several TIA's and possible carotid aterey surgery which they are not sure he can survive and his attitude is GO FOR IT..He is not saying that lightly he knows without the surgery he has a possible greater chance of survivng with a lesser quality of life but ultimately it will be his choice

Helen. After so many supportive, kind and loving thoughts you have posted to me, I can't believe you had all this going on !!

Please accept my "hugs" and to wish you the best.

I wanted to ask if you had heard of the CyberKnife...?

You might look into possible implications for one of you.

http://www.stanfordhospital.com/clinicsmedServices/COE/cyberknife/ckHome.html

dear Helen,

All my prayers are with you and your mother...

God bless you.

yuumu

Helen-
Many prayers sent your way. Sometimes you just have to close your eyes and hang on for the ride, but wanted you to know you are not alone! Across the miles with love, Kris

Thanks all for you love, hugs and prayers.

Well my Mum has been told no treatment is available and I just hope that is not because of her age, the family has been told months rather weeks, but we will see.
I saw my ENT doc on Monday and he says to operate would possibly make things worse.
I have a paralised vocal cord and to repair that would make worse the 30% of narrowing of my trachea, so when you ask about side effects, remember that some are so rare that no-one ever mentions them.
Once again thanks to all my friends and fellow travelers....
Sunshine... love and hugs
Helen

Helen, please try to hang in there, and try to enjoy every day that you and your Mom can share. Amy

We get caught up in our own trials and tribulations...feeling sorry for ourselves, and then hear of someone going through unimaginable pain, as you are now. My issues pale in comparison. Losing your Dad, your Mom's prognosis, your health worries.... I am so sorry you are dealing with all this now. I know you will be a "rock" for your Mom and help her however you can.

Hugs to you and your family.

Jennifer

Helen,

I am so sorry to hear about your mom. I wish there was a way I could really help, but I guess the best I can do is to let you know that I am praying for you and your mom. I am sorry that you are both suffering.

sunshine, love and hugs to you both,
Barb

Helen,
Tom and I join our prayers and support with the others being sent your way. You have been so generous with your caring; I hope ours will affect you in a positive way.
How fortunate you have been to know your parents as a grown woman - and how wonderful it is to know you can be there for them in their time of need. God has blessed your family and He'll not forget you.
All our best.
Nicki and Tom

Dear Helen,

I am so sad to read of your mothers cancer and the fact that they cannot fix your thorax problem.
My cousin's motherin-inlaw had esaphegeal cancer at about the same age as your mother. She did not survive it, but I do not remember what the treatment was, if any. I will email him and ask. Of course every case if different so the info may may useless.

You are having an absolutely horrible year. Hopefully things will turn into sunshine and rainbows soon. Keep your chin up.

Take care,
Eileen

Dearest Helen,
I'm sorry to hear that things have been so rough for you. I've been out of state for awhile and am reading about all that's gone on with you, I wish I could make it better.
Minnie

Dear Helen,
I am so sorry; they say God never gives us more than we can handle but I think some folks go thru the line up more than once!
I pray things get better for you and yours.
Love Maria

Helen,

My goodness! I am so sorry...You were so helpful to me through my mom' sickness..I cant imagine what you are going through now..With yourself and your mom going through what you are goin gthourhg so soon after the loss of your father.

Helen, I am praying for you and sending you a huge hug! You need it. Please let us all know how you are doing. I am so sorry about your vocal cord and your mom's illness as well...My heart really goes out to you in this time. I am here for you

Love and hugs
Stephany