Hello everyone...
Unfortunately the word "caregiver" just puts a big question mark in my mind. It hurts when what I read often refers to Family & Friends....Friends & Family.
I live alone and do have a friend near by that has helped me in the past. He's now elderly and suffering with emphysema. I surly couldn't ask him to help with hauling water or bringing in firewood.
I have a brother that lives in AZ. His job requires him to travel the globe and even though we care for each other...
We've only seen each other once each decade. We do email now and then.
I'm sure he would want to know about my condition but I don't want to worry him. His daughter is expecting a little girl soon and they are in such a Happy place.
I don't want to be the one that puts a damper on such a special time. You see... the last time we we're together was 1 1/2 years ago as our mother was losing her battle with met. Ca. Feelings are a still a bit raw from that time.
I love my Bro...want to protect him...and at the same time.. could use a kind word or 2 from him...Selfish?
Thanks for reading..
Karina

You've already answered. He would want to know. You can't worry about spoiling a happy time in his life. He may not be able to be with you, but he can at least be someone to listen.

Im so sorry to read your post, Karina. As a single mother I was in a similar situation when I was initially diagnosed. What I quickly learned is people are genuinely good and have big hearts. Its not possible to know how those close to you will respond and act when they are told about your illness. I was surprised at how some family members who promised over and over they would be there for me disappeared almost immediately. Some coworkers I barely talked with stepped up and gladly filled that gap.

OC is not something simple, you will need help. I suggest calling the American Cancer Society and asking about their volunteer driver program. You may need help getting back and forth to appointments and further treatments. I was lucky enough to use this service even though it was 45 minutes each way to my treatment center (plus the driver also added another hour and half to the trip). The wonderful volunteers who drove me were fellow survivors. It was very helpful seeing someone who appeared the picture of health after getting thru their cancer treatment and recovery.

I also suggest thinking about other sources for help. Ask at your treatment facility if they have any volunteers who help patients, church or other religious affiliations, neighbors, coworkers or maybe even some retired or stay at home moms may be interested in helping out. You are having surgery and will need someone to drive you home after you are released. You also should have someone stay there with you while you are not feeling the best. Im positive if the people you mentioned told you they were sick and needed help you would want to help them. I suggest start talking to everyone right away and line up your team. Give everyone a chance to decide for themselves how they will react and if they are able to be there for you.

Good luck!!!

Hi Karina,

Let's put it another way-- if your brother was sick, would you want him to tell you or keep it from you? Because your brother is in a good place, he is probably better equipped to deal with your illness than if he was struggling or miserable. Do let him know and let him decide how he can support you.

Karina,

There is very little positive about a cancer diagnosis but this event offers an opportunity to have more communication with your family. They are probably not going to help you as you get treatment but they can be there to offer comfort and emotional support.

Living in a rural setting does add more hurdles as you mention. Second Christine's thought about exploring options available to you to help you out while in treatment and recovery.

If you are T1 and having surgery only then that is "good" news as your path back to good health is generally quicker than others.

OCF is always her to offer support too.

Good luck, don