Today is Sunday. I'm i Perth, Australia and it is a beautiful sunny 29C degrees. But as i watched my husband drive away with my two year old to the beach i felt so sad and lonely. I want to join them but know that i wont have enough energy to last and i know my husband is trying to give me time to rest by taking my daughter out but somehow i just dont feel grateful for it. I dont know what i want. Most days i'm ok but some days nothing seems to make me happy. I dont even know myself why i'm so sad.
Minh
Hey Minh, I just think its a little impatience that we all have in us. At some point we are bound to get frustrated on how long u have to "rest". I don't think it's about being grateful or not. You have to rest before surgery rest after surgery rest during rads and after meanwhile you want to live your life. I hear your frustrations even though I am not the one diagnosed. I see that same frustration everyday in my sister.
Just letting you know your not alone. She just finished rads on Monday I think it will be better soon.
you are normal! However, like many normal survivors of oral cancer you need someone to talk to and maybe some medicinal support. Please go to your GP tomorrow and talk about your feelings. Ask for a referral to someone who can help you talk through your feelings.
It strikes me when reading about the experiences of the people on this site the reactions are not unlike post traumatic stress syndrome. Add to that, you are not yet back to your peak physical well being, it is no suprise you feel the way you do. Equally unsurprising you don't know why you feel so bad. The natural thought might be "she has beaten this disease, she should be on top of the world". However, facing a life threatening event and beating it is almost never simple. Just ask the people who have survived plain crashes or bombings when others have died. It is common and natural to feel immediate relief followed by feelings of guilt and depression. This series of feelings has been documented as an actual condition (the name I forget for the moment but may be "survivors syndrome") in the same way the process of grieving is complex and involves many different stages.