My husband had surgery to remove a growth on his tongue. The growth was removed and a biopsy was performed. We were told that it would take a few weeks to get the results of the biopsy.
On Monday, I received a call from the oral surgeon's office telling me that the results of the biopsy was in and she needed to schedule an appt to discuss with us. I asked if she could let me know anything over the phone and she said that it was the doctor's policy to discuss results (good or bad) in person. She said she could get us in on Friday. I was suspicious but tried to put it out of my mind since my husband and 2 children were out of town until Tuesday. When my husband returned and I told him about the call, he was calm but I started to lose it. I cannot help thinking negatively. Not knowing lead me right to the internet surfing like crazy and not liking what I read.
My husband also has complained that his jaw has been hurting him - which does not sound like a good sign.
Why would they wait until Friday to discuss with us if the news is that there is some stage of cancer? Wouldn't they have asked to see us immediately if the news was bad? I am so worried and confused. What do you think?
I agree with Brian 100%. Your doctor needs to be more sensitive to the needs of your husband and his family, and at the moment, your husband's most pressing need is to receive accurate information in a timely manner.
Last October, I too had a growth removed from my tongue, along with the attendant biopsy. It took about a week to get the results. My oral surgeon's office left a voice mail saying I should contact the doctor as soon as possible. She then said that if the office was closed by the time I received the message, I should call the doctor on his cell phone at such-and-such number. I knew instantly that the results were not good. (Never in my life have I ever been provided any doctor's personal cell phone number!) I called his cell phone that evening. He very kindly and patiently confirmed my worst fear, but answered all my questions and advised me how to proceed.
My point is that my doctor had the good sense to know that when dealing with oral cancer, time is of the essence. That even if conditions are not ideal for dispensing bad news, it was incumbent upon him to spare me any further anxiety, and to make sure I started down the right treatment path as soon as possible. Your husband has every right to demand no less.
And who knows, maybe the fact that this doctor is willing to wait several days to give you the results is a hopeful sign (even though his "policy" is still unconscionable, in my view). So don't rule out a negative biopsy. But even if the biopsy is positive, you and your husband should still be hopeful. As Brian pointed out, oral cancer is a very treatable and very survivable disease (80%-90% are pretty damned good odds!). For example, my own case was fairly straightforward: an ENT (ear, nose, throat) doctor revisited the biopsy site, and simply removed a much larger area of my tongue. I went to surgery the Monday before Thanksgiving, cooked an entire Thanksgiving meal on Thursday (even though I couldn't eat any of it), and was back at work the following Monday. I continue to see the ENT every 3 months for an examination of my mouth and my neck. So far, so good.
And if you read the stories of others on this board, you will be truly amazed, and even inspired. Even those with very advanced cancers, who have been to hell and back as far as treatments go, continue to go to work, go to the movies, visit the grandkids, take hikes, shoot hoops, make love, play the piano, you name it. So when you're out surfing the web, don't be overwhelmed by the negative. Learn as much as you can, but always remember that there are real human beings behind all the cold statistics and generalizations. You'll find a lot of them right here, and I don't sense that any of them are ready to roll over for this disease.
Thanks for caring, my worried wife. And though I am somewhat worried, I haven't had a good fight in quite a while. So if this cancer thing is what I have around the corner, let's put 'em up! And as for the other replies of support you have received, I'd like to thank those people too. Rest assured that I will be making copies of those responses for the doctor to review.
Great attitude. Personally, I believe that a fighter
Just to add another experience. My bio results took a week. I was left a voice mail and told to call ASAP. When the phone was answered by the nurse, she just said to me Anne it's cancer. Well talk about total devestation. I had to continue my day and act like nothing was wrong. I think a person should be told in person. Of course they scheduled me an appointment the next day and my husband went with me. But what a horrible experience.
Hang in and take care. Keep us posted.
Anne
thanks to everyone for their perspectives and words of support. We will let you know what the outcome is....