Hello,
I love this forum. Such amazing people and suggestions. My 91 year old mother had a recurrence of her oral cancer; along with tumor on her jaw. Qualified for an immunotherapy trial which she wanted to try. (In her mind, what have I got to lose?) Here we are 4 months later, tumor on her jaw pretty much gone and cancer dwindling. So here we are with this encouraging news, but the side effects? have been awful. She contracted C-diff in August which took about 6 weeks to recover. We had a feeding tube put in because she was having difficulty swallowing (lots of mucus and gagging). And now, she is sleeping almost all day and night and the diarrhea is chronic. Trying to figure out if this is end of life/stage stuff, needing a break from immuno treatment and/or??? Also trying to figure out the best place for her. My sister has mom living in her house and it's been really challenging for her. Thanks for letting me share this...hoping someone might have a similar story and how you handled this.

Hi! I’m in the caring profession and work in Geriatrics. I have little to no experience with oral cancer. A few things from my experience. In regards to gastric tubes, diarrhea tends to be pretty constant. The old saying is “what goes in must come out”; with limited fiber and solid materials, a soft, loose mostly formless BM is about the best you can hope for. You can consider SNFs (skilled nursing facilities aka nursing homes); but realize the option is not cheap. Where I live, most SNFs cost (private pay) about $5.5K to $7.5K a month not including incidentals quite often. If you choose to go the SNF route, please do your research on them and shop around. Most SNFs do walking tours that are mostly useless. See how many staff are on the floor, how they work, how they interact with each other and the residents, etc. The looks of a facility are far less important than the staff. Good staff and good staffing ratios have a far higher affect on how patients do than anything else. Additionally, you can find DHEC inspection report and google each facility you can have a good idea. Another consideration is hospice; talk to the physician and the nurses about appropriateness of palliative care. Your mom’s age and diagnosis likely makes her a reasonable candidate although in my state hospice tend to dislike gastric tubes. I would also strongly recommend doing what you can to provide help for your sister. Home Health may give you an alternative option; even if just paying for home health for 16 hours a week to give your sister a handsome she could go be herself. I’m not sure on home health costs, but it would be significantly cheaper than a SNF. I hope this helps.