There were times during my brother's battle that I would have pain in my tongue and ear. I thought they were just "sympathy pains" I felt. Well, today I went to see the ear, nose and throat doctor and he wants to perform a biopsy on Wednesday. CRAZY! He said he probably wouldn't do it if I didn't have a family member who experienced oral cancer. I just hope that it is not positive. I don't think that my family can handle the news. It has only been a month since my brother's passing. I will not tell them unless I get unfavorable results. So, I turn to you all for support and to let others know the importance of "checking things out".

Noemi

Dear Noemi,

My prayers are right there with you. Hang in there and know that the odds are against your having oc. Just try to stay calm while you wait, because--as you know from your brother's experience--each day is its own gift. So don't throw away those days until you hear the news. Regardless of what may be going on, the fact is that ALL we have is right now. That is what counts. I know you don't need me to tell you that, but I just thought that maybe reading it would help you keep today at the forefront of your activities.

So stop for a few minutes and count those blessings you can celebrate, okay? And please keep us posted! We are all keeping our fingers, toes, and legs crossed for you!!!

Good luck, and enjoy your holiday weekend!!!

What's he going to biopsy?

Noemi

What awful news. You are still mourning for your brother and now this

Im sending good thoughts your way. Its NOT cancer til they say its cancer. Try to enjoy the holiday and not worry too much. Its good that your doctor is on top of things.

We are here for you.


Christine

Noemi,
Please G-d, this will prove to be nothing. It is hard advice to follow when you are waiting, but everyone is right, worrying wont change anything. In the meantime, keep very busy and enjoy the weekend with the family. We will worry for you while praying that you hear good news.
Malka

There is no evidence that oral cancer has any familial genetic links. You would have to have the same risk factor influences that he did. So you would have the same degree of risk as any other person not related to your brother, and I would think the doctor's diligence may be as much influenced to comfort you (after what he knows the family has been through) with definitive information than real belief that there is real danger present.

Carol thanks as always. Just a little freaked out. The biopsy is of my right cheek. Thank you Christine. I just think I am more worried about my family. I will tell them them that I had some dental work. It just is CRAZY! Thank you Malka. I know that there is no evidence of genetic links but there just seems to be no true evidence of all cancers. I know that risk factors influence but both being non smokers, drinkers and anything else has me wondering. It seems like I hit a nerve with you Brian. I am sorry but when all I ever hear is "Did your brother smoke" well it kind of t's me off. He didn't have a hazardous job (well he was a cop ) As far as the doctor is concerned, I do pay well to have him do what needs to be done with my me and my family. The problem began a year ago and he has monitored the spot on my cheek for some time. He just feels it's time to find out what it is. It is what it is and there is nothing I can do. I know that I did not write for my comfort, although I feel that this wonderful site has given me so much these past few months. I just needed to vent because I have no brother to talk to anymore.

Boy I made a record for typos.

Hi Little Sis

try not to worry too much.I had the same thing happen to me last December just a few weeks after robin died.I wetn to the dentist to have a tooth removed,and three days later i was sitting in a hospital in leeds having a doctor poking around in my mouth.

I was terrified,but very impressed with my dentist who bless him was mortified about sending me to the hospital.All was well and nothing more than an irritated and slightly infected area of gum where i had an extraction 6 years ago.

I wish you good luck and will be thinking of you

love liz

Man, are you reading more into this than I said. You didn't hit a nerve with me, I was merely stating a fact that I thought might ease your mind. There ARE cancers in which there is a genetic predisposition for people to get them, but this is not one of them. There are also cancers that we have no clue as to why people get them. In 95% of the cases oral cancer is not one of them.

I didn't say anything about smoking, and to be honest I don't remember if it was a factor with your brother, and I didn't ask with you. I speak with about 10 cancer patients a day. I answer another 15-20 private emails a night, and when I have time, I post what I hope will be helpful comments here. If you think that I can remember the details of every person I have talked with or about in the last 7 years of doing this every day, you are very wrong. So I speak in generalities in some cases. Yours for instance. I figured someone going in for a biopsy, who didn't mention anything in their post about any risk factors like smoking, drinking etc., but only a possible familial relationship link to the oral cancer as a risk factor, might have their level of anxiety relieved some by knowing that wasn't likely.

So you can come here and vent all you want, but jumping on my shit because you read something into my reply which didn't exist, which was intended to ease your mind some, doesn't qualify as venting. Everyone is sympathetic to your loss, me included.

I never interpreted Brian,s word as anything but understanding you situation. I can understand you nervousness with this spot. I would be too . I wish you well and have you in the prayers. LOL If I didn't make typos, it wouldn't be me typing but some imposter.

Little Sis,

Is it possible to get another opinion before you let this guy do a biopsy?

My thoughts and prayers are with you. Try to stay calm and not freak out. Waiting for an answer sometimes is worse than the actual answer. IF something is found, they're finding it early-that's a good thing. Keep busy and try to stay positive.

Brian, are you okay? Your post just doesn't sound like you. I empathize with you and wish you had more time to relax. Maybe your venting helped you. In any case, I hope you have a chance to enjoy this holiday weekend and do something wonderful for yourself. That's so hard sometimes, isn't it, when we work so hard to help others. It's your turn to take a little time away from the frenetic pace and enjoy some deep breathing and sighs that exhale the stress away. Please take care of yourself--and let others help, too, when we can :-)

All the best to you.
Happy 4th