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Brian Hill, embishop
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Original Post (Thread Starter)
#201012 10/25/2021 2:07 PM
by embishop
embishop
I am feeling so so stressed I just feel sick in my gut. I’ve had a small red spot on the roof of my mouth for 3 wks now, cancer side. And a little lump on the top of my scalp for a month longer. I had my regular 6 month checkup 2 weeks ago. I see rads oncologist and ENT at the same time. They took a photo of both and ENT made a f/u appt with me in 4 wks to check. My partner does a weekly mouth check for me and last night there were 2 more red spots on cancer side, plus 1 more red spot on other side (all on roof of mouth). I know I have to wait for 2 more wks for the appt but omg I don’t want to have cancer again. (Had breast cancer twice, oral cancer once.) I decided to check in here because of my stress level.

Other than that I’m doing really well. I can eat almost anything, including a lot of but not all breads - with more liquids than I used to need. I never thought I’d be able to eat almost back to normal again, and I’m very happy about that. Just stressed about red spots now though.
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#201242 Mar 2nd a 04:40 AM
by Brian Hill
Brian Hill
The good news is dysplasia isn’t cancer yet but cellular movement towards it. Not all dysplasia becomes malignant. And if he is going to remove it soon, that means before it has a chance to become something more, it will be gone. So for sure, I like you, get wigged out when my scans or biopsy comes back as something less than normal. It takes me days to get my attitude in line with the reality that it coukd be something bad, but isn’t yet ot at least is undetermined with certainty. I think that is part of survivorship. We are always waiting for the other shoe to drop. We remember how bad the first dance with this was.

Basal cell cancers, I’m past thinking about. They are not the deadly things that squamous cell cancers can be. After a lifetime in the sun surfing and more, at my current age they keep appearing, on my scalp, my face, my hands. Getting them removed when I see a new one is an annual event at the skin surgeons, and always a complete and minor, successful procedure.

Know that these are going to be dealt with and believe that you will be again free of these things before they become something dangerous and hard to deal with. What you are feeling is not only normal, but what we all feel no matter how small, or how many times we have to face it. This will be in your rear view mirror in another month. Life will go on, and your nerves will fall back into line. B
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#201243 Mar 2nd a 07:18 PM
by embishop
embishop
Thank you Brian. Yes the crap thing is always being reminded of the first go around because swallowing and speaking issues don’t let me forget. I’ve had breast cancer 2x but don’t think about that nearly as often as oral cancer. And oral cancer surgery and treatment was awful. 1 day at a time though I will get through this and hopefully without cancer again.
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#201284 Apr 2nd a 02:54 PM
by embishop
embishop
Not cancer! I had surgery last Friday and my surgeon called me yesterday to say no cancer showed up! The thing he removed ended up being severe dysplasia, so I gather on the way, but NOT cancer! I am very very very happy and relieved 😃

The thing on my head was a basal cell cancer, but that’s no biggie at all.

What a reminder of the roller coaster of cancer. I send out my best healing thoughts to everybody on the roller coaster.
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#201285 Apr 3rd a 03:08 AM
by Brian Hill
Brian Hill
We are all really happy for this good catch and quick resolution. This is the roller coaster as you aptly describe it we all live on. Here’s hoping it is a long time before the next precipitous drop or sharp turn. Be well. B
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