Michaelii,
most of these symptoms are familiar to me.
Please search out or seek Post Traumatic Syndrome (PTSD) help and before that, try to work on calming your mind. It isn't easy but you may be able to gain some progress. It may be hard to believe that symptoms you are describing may be simply because of the extreme stress related to this illness and the fears it induces.

If you have a close caregiver these things may be a very big burden for them too.