I know exactly how you are feeling! I had over 3/4 of my tongue removed October 2020. Along with neck dissection to remove lymph nodes. My feeding tube is still in. I'm not using it much now at all and may have it removed at the end of this month. 3 months after getting home I began wearing a Lymphadema Suit to control the lymphatic swelling in my neck. It has worked,out great! Also, I put vitamin E oil on my neck scar, forearm and leg scars. I can't notice my leg scar now. My arm and neck scars are lightening up! My flap has a mind of its own. Feels swollen at times, burns like crazy at times, extreme salty saliva at times too. I use Lidocain gel on my flap using a cotton swab, Lyrica for nerve pain. You must get on both if those. I researched on my own to do excercises for the flap. Get it moving and stretch it and stretch your mouth/smiles! Now my speech I hate it! Embarrased by it. But I sing to with my Alexa loud in the shower!
Lets hang in there, ❤ together.