I've posted this in the past, I hope it helps.
Based on my experience having had two operations for oral cancer since 2003, I would like to suggest four thoughts for newcomers.
1) Since oral cancer hits only about 1% of the population, seek professional care from a medical center that specializes in cancer and has oral cancer specialists on staff (CCC)
2) Don’t be afraid to travel extra hours to such a center-your disease can be life threatening. If Boston is too far see 3) below.
3) Follow-on care may be done at a location closer to your home that the cancer center works with.
4) Don’t wait to get help, and don’t second guess expert opinion but do get a second professional opinion if concerned.
In some cases where they take lymph nodes they will probably do an RND, (radical neck dissection). Be prepared for a scar across your neck.
Good luck-if your husband takes action to deal with it, the results will most likely be worth the effort.