#80468 09-15-2008 05:56 PM | Joined: Sep 2007 Posts: 32 Contributing Member (25+ posts) | | Contributing Member (25+ posts)
Joined: Sep 2007 Posts: 32 | I turned to this site many times in the past year for information . . .
I turned to you scared out of my mind and you comforted my, supported me and calmed me
I turned to you all for advice, support and prayers . . . you were always there . . .
What you have given to my Dad and myself will always be invaluable and precious to me . . .
My Dad passed away yesterday in his home with myself and my Stepmom by his side.
Courageously battling his oral cancer for a whole year . . .he was cancer free for only 5 months and it returned to his neck/shoulder area, deemed inoperable. His one attempt at re radiation and chemo landed him in the hospital for severe dehydration and a serious infection in the wound that cancer caused . . .
We told him it was finally time to let go, the Drs. could not believe how fast it was moving and nothing could be done. His pain was excruciating. So courageously, he chose to come home to the home and family that he dearly loved and let God decide.
I only two short weeks, His family, his friends, all came by to laugh and talk one last time and for a brief time he slipped into sleep and passed away in such peace. I myself held open the door to let his spirit and soul fly free. As I walked down to his garden (the vegetable garden that was always his love and joy) I felt such happiness and comfort for him. And I swear he was with me in the garden and I knew all was okay.
Today, I grieve for a man that I was lost touch with during the middle of my life. A man that found it so hard to say I love you, (but I knew he did) a man that seemed to stay in the background for a lot of my life until I had children. Right before my daughter was born, my Dad retired and drove one hour each way to my house 2 - 3 times a week to watch his grandchildren grow. For 9 years he shared every joy that I did with my children. He taught me how to grow a garden, taught me to sit down and have a cup of coffee and just talk about life, told me family stories. The day my son started kindergarten last year was the day he found out he has cancer. And for this year I drove him to every dr appointment, hospital, chemo/radiation. We told each other we loved each other everyday . . . he told me if only one good thing was to come out of this cancer was that we had found each other. He was my Dad, my friend and now my guardian angel. As I watched him leave this earth I told him to fly to the angels (which he was seeing days before he died). Rest in Peace my Dear, Dear Dad. And to all of you I wish you hope, strength and peace and my prayers will be with you.
I will never forget you.
Love,
Laura
Mandibular ressection, flap replacement and bilateral neck dissection 10/25/07. Two nodes cancerous, others clear.
Started IRMT 12/17/07 (34) and ERBITUX ( 6). 7/17/08 cancer returned neck and shoulder area. Passed on peacefully surrounded by love on 9/15/08. And yes, he did see angels. . .
| | | | | Joined: Jan 2008 Posts: 706 "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) | | "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
Joined: Jan 2008 Posts: 706 | Laura-My deepest sympathy. I too believe that some good can come out of cancer when you finally realize what and who are important. I'm so glad you got to spend good time with your dad. Let those memories console you during this time.
Sue
cg to husband, 48 Stage 1V head and neck SCC. First surgery 9/07. Radiation and several rounds of chemo followed. Mets to chest and lungs. "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain." Went home to God on February 22, 2009.
| | | | | Joined: Sep 2007 Posts: 32 Contributing Member (25+ posts) | | Contributing Member (25+ posts)
Joined: Sep 2007 Posts: 32 | Thank you Sue. I know how difficult it is to be a cg and I honor you. I wish your husband all the best. My prayers are with you.
Laura
Mandibular ressection, flap replacement and bilateral neck dissection 10/25/07. Two nodes cancerous, others clear.
Started IRMT 12/17/07 (34) and ERBITUX ( 6). 7/17/08 cancer returned neck and shoulder area. Passed on peacefully surrounded by love on 9/15/08. And yes, he did see angels. . .
| | | | | Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 221 Gold Member (200+ posts) | | Gold Member (200+ posts)
Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 221 | Laura,
You have my heartfelt sympathy.
Love,
Joy
CG to Father, 75 yo with SCC of the mouth; upper maxillectomy and neck diss. performed on 5/23/07. Father also suffered heart attack during surgery and now has CHF. RT complete on 8/28/07. Cancer back 11/27/07. RT and Chemo to start on 12/17. Cancer back 6/17/08. Finally at rest 08/08/08.
| | | | | Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 10,507 Likes: 8 Administrator, Director of Patient Support Services Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Administrator, Director of Patient Support Services Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 10,507 Likes: 8 |
Laura:
Im so sorry for your loss. Your father was lucky to have you by his side, Im sure he was grateful for that. May your family find comfort in the good memories you shared.
ChristineSCC 6/15/07 L chk & by L molar both Stag I, age44 2x cispltn-35 IMRT end 9/27/07 -65 lbs in 2 mo, no caregvr Clear PET 1/08 4/4/08 recur L chk Stag I surg 4/16/08 clr marg 215 HBO dives 3/09 teeth out, trismus 7/2/09 recur, Stg IV 8/24/09 trach, ND, mandiblctmy 3wks medicly inducd coma 2 mo xtended hospital stay, ICU & burn unit PICC line IV antibx 8 mo 10/4/10, 2/14/11 reconst surg OC 3x in 3 years very happy to be alive  | | | | | Joined: Sep 2007 Posts: 32 Contributing Member (25+ posts) | | Contributing Member (25+ posts)
Joined: Sep 2007 Posts: 32 | Oh, Joy . . .I am so so sorry about your Dad also. I have not been back to OCF until tonight so I did not know . . .
I know that you find as much peace and comfort for him as I do for my Dad. I cry for you because I know how you must feel. Take care of yourself, Joy and keep in touch.
Love,
Laura
Mandibular ressection, flap replacement and bilateral neck dissection 10/25/07. Two nodes cancerous, others clear.
Started IRMT 12/17/07 (34) and ERBITUX ( 6). 7/17/08 cancer returned neck and shoulder area. Passed on peacefully surrounded by love on 9/15/08. And yes, he did see angels. . .
| | | | | Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 221 Gold Member (200+ posts) | | Gold Member (200+ posts)
Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 221 |
CG to Father, 75 yo with SCC of the mouth; upper maxillectomy and neck diss. performed on 5/23/07. Father also suffered heart attack during surgery and now has CHF. RT complete on 8/28/07. Cancer back 11/27/07. RT and Chemo to start on 12/17. Cancer back 6/17/08. Finally at rest 08/08/08.
| | | | | Joined: Apr 2005 Posts: 2,219 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Apr 2005 Posts: 2,219 | Laura,
I am so sorry to hear that your dad has lost his courageous battle.
I wish it had worked out that I could have met him.
He was lucky to have you as his caregiver and I know he knew that.
Please extend my condolences to your family.
Jerry
Jerry
Retired Dentist, 59 years old at diagnosis. SCC of the left lateral border of the tongue (Stage I). Partial glossectomy and 30 nodes removed, 4/6/05. Nodes all clear. No chemo no radiation 18 year survivor.
"Whatever doesn't kill me, makes me stronger"
| | | | | Joined: Apr 2006 Posts: 583 "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) | | "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
Joined: Apr 2006 Posts: 583 | Laura,
What a beautiful post about you and your DAD. So sorry for your loss, But happy you both had rekindled your life together for the time you did get to share.
Take care, and drop in now and then..
Diane
2004 SCC R.tip 1/4 tongue Oct. 2005 R. Neck SCC cancer/Chemo Cisplatin 2x/8wks. Rad. Removed Jugular vein, Lymph gland & some neck muscle. TX finished 1/20/06... B.Cancer 3/29/07 Finished 6/07 Bi-op 7/15/09 SCC in-situ, laser surgery removed from 1st. sight. Right jaw replacement 11/3/14. 9 yrs cancer free as of Jan. 2015
| | | | | Joined: Sep 2007 Posts: 32 Contributing Member (25+ posts) | | Contributing Member (25+ posts)
Joined: Sep 2007 Posts: 32 | Oh, Jerry. I will always be grateful for your kind emails and words of encouragement. I never dreamed this was going to happen so soon and so fast. I always told him about your messages. I am sorry you did not meet him too, he was a good man.
It was my honor to care for him and I would have not changed a thing. I am left now to make something good out of all of this . . .
keep in touch.
Love,
Laura
Mandibular ressection, flap replacement and bilateral neck dissection 10/25/07. Two nodes cancerous, others clear.
Started IRMT 12/17/07 (34) and ERBITUX ( 6). 7/17/08 cancer returned neck and shoulder area. Passed on peacefully surrounded by love on 9/15/08. And yes, he did see angels. . .
| | | | | Joined: Sep 2006 Posts: 1,357 Likes: 5 "OCF Canuck" Patient Advocate (1000+ posts) | | "OCF Canuck" Patient Advocate (1000+ posts)
Joined: Sep 2006 Posts: 1,357 Likes: 5 | So very sorry to hear of this world's loss in your Dad's passing. He sounds like a wonderful man who was very fortunate to have you for a daughter. What a beautiful post and tribute to your Dad. We grieve with you.
Donna
Donna,69, SCC L Tongue T2N1MO Stg IV 4/04 w/partial gloss;32 radtx; T2N2M0 Stg IV; R tongue-2nd partial gloss w/graft 10/07; 30 radtx/2 cispl 2/08. 3rd Oral Cancer surgery 1/22 - Stage 1. 2022 surgery eliminated swallowing and bottom left jaw. Now a “Tubie for Life”.no food envy - Thank God! Surviving isn't easy!!!! .Proudly Canadian - YES, UNIVERSAL HEALTH CARE IS WONDERFUL! (Not perfect but definitely WONDERFUL)
| | | | | Joined: Dec 2003 Posts: 528 "OCF Down Under" "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) | | "OCF Down Under" "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
Joined: Dec 2003 Posts: 528 | Dear Laura
What a moving and loving post. I send my condolences and thank you for telling us about the gifts your father's cancer brought to your family.
With love from Helen
RHTonsil SCC Stage IV tx completed May 03
| | | | | Joined: Dec 2003 Posts: 2,606 Likes: 2 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Dec 2003 Posts: 2,606 Likes: 2 | Laura,
First, I want you to know how truly sorry I am to hear of your father's passing. I found great joy in your post, though, to re-live the love you two found and shared to the end as I read your post. I remember too well most of the year 2000 taking care of my mother. There were times that it was so tough yet the joy we shared, the love that we shared can never be replaced. I, too, found it an honor to be at that place at that time to give back to the one who gave so much to me all my life.
I have found over the years that my pain was slowly replaced by the fondest of memories and still chuckle at some of the silliness we shared for 9 painful months.
I really know what you mean about letting the spirit out of the house and the angels he was seeing towards the end. You were indeed very special to have been a part of that and I am really glad that he had the opportunity to know you as a parent and a daughter.
Best Wishes,
Ed
SCC Stage IV, BOT, T2N2bM0
Cisplatin/5FU x 3, 40 days radiation
Diagnosis 07/21/03 tx completed 10/08/03
Post Radiation Lower Motor Neuron Syndrome 3/08.
Cervical Spinal Stenosis 01/11
Cervical Myelitis 09/12
Thoracic Paraplegia 10/12
Dysautonomia 11/12
Hospice care 09/12-01/13.
COPD 01/14
Intermittent CHF 6/15
Feeding tube NPO 03/16
VFI 12/2016
ORN 12/2017
Cardiac Event 06/2018
Bilateral VFI 01/2021
Thoracotomy Bilobectomy 01/2022
Bilateral VFI 05/2022
Total Laryngectomy 01/2023
| | | | | Joined: Sep 2006 Posts: 8,311 Senior Patient Advocate Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Senior Patient Advocate Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Sep 2006 Posts: 8,311 | So sorry that this cancer claimed another much loved person. I hope the garden continues on.
David
Age 58 at Dx, HPV16+ SCC, Stage IV BOT+2 nodes, non smoker, casual drinker, exercise nut, Cisplatin x 3 & concurrent IMRT x 35,(70 Gy), no surgery, no Peg, Tx at Moffitt over Aug 06. Jun 07, back to riding my bike 100 miles a wk. Now doing 12 Spin classes and 60 outdoor miles per wk. Nov 13 completed Hilly Century ride for Cancer, 104 miles, 1st Place in my age group. Apr 2014 & 15, Spun for 9 straight hrs to raise $$ for YMCA's Livestrong Program. Certified Spin Instructor Jun 2014.
| | | | | Joined: Feb 2004 Posts: 598 "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) | | "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
Joined: Feb 2004 Posts: 598 | Laura -- Your tribute moved me deeply, and what others have said is true -- your father was very fortunate to have such a loving daughter and caregiver. Every time you go into the garden -- any garden -- you will be carrying an important part of him with you. Condolences and prayers to you and your family.
Jeff
SCC Right BOT Dx 3/28/2007
T2N2a M0G1,Stage IVa
Bilateral Neck Dissection 4/11/2007
39 x IMRT, 8 x Cisplatin Ended 7/11/07
Complete response to treatment so far!!
| | | | | Joined: Sep 2007 Posts: 79 Senior Member (75+ posts) | | Senior Member (75+ posts)
Joined: Sep 2007 Posts: 79 | I am sorry to hear of your loss. Your tribute to your father shows the depth of your love for him.
* Root for Joe *
Sister of Joe (43, non-smoker/chewer; occ. drinker). Mouth problem 3/07. Diag with Stage I 6/07. Diag with Stage IV 9/07. In EPOC at Univ of Chicago. Cisplatin/cetuximab 1/wk x 8. Then, IMRT 5x/wk x 7 and weekly chemo. Done 12/21/07. Looks good as of 4/08, 7/08, 8/08, 1/09.
| | | | | Joined: Feb 2005 Posts: 2,019 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Feb 2005 Posts: 2,019 | Laura, That was a beautiful remembrance of your Dad. My Dad died last year and we had also become closer towards the end--though not as free as you two were at saying "I love you" still. It's wonderful that you reached that degree of closeness. I hate that this cancer took him but I'm so glad he went peacefully with his family by his side. And each year when you plant your garden, he'll be there with you (I know this because my grandmother was a gardener and I always think of her when I am in my garden).
Nelie
SCC(T2N0M0) part.glossectomy & neck dissect 2/9/05 & 2/25/05.33 IMRT(66 Gy),2 Cisplatin ended 06/03/05.Stage I breast cancer treated 2/05-11/05.Surgery to remove esophageal stricture 07/06, still having dilatations to keep esophagus open.Dysphagia. "When you're going through hell, keep going"
| | | | | Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 5,260 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 5,260 | Laura, you did a great job on that post, but I feel so terrible because you lost your Dad. You were such a caring daughter and helped him fight it all the way. I am proud to have been a part of your, your Step mom and most of all your Dad,s life. Stop by and let us know how you are doing from time to time. Your Buddy, Jim
Since posting this. UPMC, Pittsburgh, Oct 2011 until Jan. I averaged about 2 to 3 surgeries a week there. w Can't have jaw made as bone is deteroriating steaily that is left in jaw. Mersa is to blame. Feeding tube . Had trach for 4mos. Got it out April.
--- Passed away 5/14/14, will be greatly missed by everyone here
| | | | | Joined: Aug 2007 Posts: 580 "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) | | "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
Joined: Aug 2007 Posts: 580 | Laura,
My heartfelt condolences and prayers to you and your family for the loss of your father.
As many have already posted, he was lucky to have loved ones to help him like you.
I have come to know you as a strong and compassionate person.
I hope you will continue to drop in and offer advice and experience to those who find themself here.
All the best.
Cheers!
Mike
Dentist since 1995, 12 year Cancer Survivor, Father, Husband, Thankful to so many who supported me on my journey so far, and more than happy to comfort a friend.
Live, Laugh, Love & Learn.
| | | | | Joined: May 2008 Posts: 357 Platinum Member (300+ posts) | | Platinum Member (300+ posts)
Joined: May 2008 Posts: 357 | What a beautiful tribute to your dad and the legacy he left you. Cancer is a sneaky beast and I'm sure each of us feels the loss when one of us passes on - I know I do. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Marlene
Marginal mandibulectomy 6/17/08 resulted in DX of Stage I SCC - gingiva (3 mm) right mandible, buccal side. Clear margins. Occasional social drinker. Smoked last cigarette in 1979. Clear pet: 12/08; 7/20/09. Yay!
| | | | | Joined: Sep 2007 Posts: 32 Contributing Member (25+ posts) | | Contributing Member (25+ posts)
Joined: Sep 2007 Posts: 32 | I cried and cried when I read all of your posts . . .Thank you, to all of your, for your kind words and thoughts and prayers . . . yes, when I am able to do so, I will be here to give back what you all have given me. It is the right thing to do . . . my Dad can not have lost his battle without something positive coming from this . . . if I can help even just one person then I will be able to find some peace in all of this, not matter how small. Right now it is all too raw but I will find my way back.
Love to you all . .
Laura
Mandibular ressection, flap replacement and bilateral neck dissection 10/25/07. Two nodes cancerous, others clear.
Started IRMT 12/17/07 (34) and ERBITUX ( 6). 7/17/08 cancer returned neck and shoulder area. Passed on peacefully surrounded by love on 9/15/08. And yes, he did see angels. . .
| | | | | Joined: Nov 2002 Posts: 3,552 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Nov 2002 Posts: 3,552 | Laura,
I am very sorry for your loss. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.
Gary Allsebrook
Gary Allsebrook
***********************************
Dx 11/22/02, SCC, 6 x 3 cm Polypoid tumor, rt tonsil, Stage III/IVA, T3N0M0 G1/2
Tx 1/28/03 - 3/19/03, Cisplatin ct x2, IMRT, bilateral, with boost, x35(69.96Gy)
________________________________________________________
"You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes" (James 4:14 NIV)
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