#78328 08-08-2008 03:51 AM | Joined: Apr 2005 Posts: 2,219 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Apr 2005 Posts: 2,219 | Dear friends,
I received an email from Joy (Pharmgirl) early this morning telling me that her dad had lost his battle. Her first sentence tells it all:
"It is with great sadness and relief that I'm writing to let you know that Daddy passed away at 1:20 this morning. He fought a good fight for over the last year and a half and now he is finally at rest and free of the pain. Mom and I were at his side."
Joy and I have been in email contact since November of 2007. Her dad fought a tough battle and she and her mom were wonderful caregivers. She wanted me to let you all know how much she appreciates everyone's thoughts, prayers and words of encouragement during his illness.
Shew will be posting soon, but will be very busy during the next few days.
Her dad's obituary will be in the Richmond Times Dispatch. His last name was Proffitt. It will probably be in the paper by Saturday or Sunday.
Jerry
Jerry
Retired Dentist, 59 years old at diagnosis. SCC of the left lateral border of the tongue (Stage I). Partial glossectomy and 30 nodes removed, 4/6/05. Nodes all clear. No chemo no radiation 18 year survivor.
"Whatever doesn't kill me, makes me stronger"
| | | | | Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 10,507 Likes: 8 Administrator, Director of Patient Support Services Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Administrator, Director of Patient Support Services Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 10,507 Likes: 8 |
Jerry:
Thank you for posting about Joy's father. He had such a difficult battle. He is at peace now.
ChristineSCC 6/15/07 L chk & by L molar both Stag I, age44 2x cispltn-35 IMRT end 9/27/07 -65 lbs in 2 mo, no caregvr Clear PET 1/08 4/4/08 recur L chk Stag I surg 4/16/08 clr marg 215 HBO dives 3/09 teeth out, trismus 7/2/09 recur, Stg IV 8/24/09 trach, ND, mandiblctmy 3wks medicly inducd coma 2 mo xtended hospital stay, ICU & burn unit PICC line IV antibx 8 mo 10/4/10, 2/14/11 reconst surg OC 3x in 3 years very happy to be alive  | | | | | Joined: Apr 2006 Posts: 794 "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) | | "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
Joined: Apr 2006 Posts: 794 | Jerry, thanks so much for posting this, since we know that Joy will not be able to write for a few days.
Joy, my prayers go out for you and your mother for comfort during this time of loss. I guess it is fair to say that nobody "deserves" such difficulties at the end of a life lived well in service to God and man, but I know you'll agree that, though it was not the ending that anyone would have chosen for him, he managed it as well as any person possibly could have. I am awfully proud of him for that.
I know that your family will support each other by remembering the best times of his life.
I share your relief that he is no longer suffering and is at peace.
Know that your family here will hold him and your family in our hearts and prayers.
XO--Colleen
Colleen--T-2N0M0 SCC dx'd 12/28/05...Hemi-maxillectomy, partial palatectomy, neck dissection 1/4/06....clear margins, neg. nodes....no radiation, no chemo....Cancer-free at 4 years!
| | | | | Joined: Sep 2006 Posts: 1,357 Likes: 5 "OCF Canuck" Patient Advocate (1000+ posts) | | "OCF Canuck" Patient Advocate (1000+ posts)
Joined: Sep 2006 Posts: 1,357 Likes: 5 | My thoughts and prayers are with them all.
Donna
Donna,69, SCC L Tongue T2N1MO Stg IV 4/04 w/partial gloss;32 radtx; T2N2M0 Stg IV; R tongue-2nd partial gloss w/graft 10/07; 30 radtx/2 cispl 2/08. 3rd Oral Cancer surgery 1/22 - Stage 1. 2022 surgery eliminated swallowing and bottom left jaw. Now a “Tubie for Life”.no food envy - Thank God! Surviving isn't easy!!!! .Proudly Canadian - YES, UNIVERSAL HEALTH CARE IS WONDERFUL! (Not perfect but definitely WONDERFUL)
| | | | | Joined: Jul 2008 Posts: 15 Member | | Member
Joined: Jul 2008 Posts: 15 | Pharmgirl - I'm new to the site but not to what you are going through. My husband and I were caregivers to my mother who succumbed to pancreatic cancer ten years ago. I remember when she passed how lonely I felt, the house was so empty after having had so many visitors during her illness. Some people accused me of being cold hearted because of how I acted after her passing, I guess they expected me to be more broken up. But they did not walk in my moccosins (as you have now.) They could not understand the sense of relief (now that the suffering was over.) I always tell people that caring for my Mom and helping her through that journey was the closest I have ever been to Heaven. WHAT A VIEW! Joy, good luck and please know we are thinking of you. CMB
Partial Glossectomy (Right) March 2007, Clear Margins, SCC T1N0M0
| | | | | Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 5,260 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 5,260 | Joy, I want to offer my deepest feelings for you and your Mother. Your Dad did all he could to whip this nonsense . You 2 sre in my prayers. I wish you well.
Since posting this. UPMC, Pittsburgh, Oct 2011 until Jan. I averaged about 2 to 3 surgeries a week there. w Can't have jaw made as bone is deteroriating steaily that is left in jaw. Mersa is to blame. Feeding tube . Had trach for 4mos. Got it out April.
--- Passed away 5/14/14, will be greatly missed by everyone here
| | | | | Joined: Aug 2007 Posts: 580 "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) | | "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
Joined: Aug 2007 Posts: 580 | Joy,
I am at a loss for words and am saddened by your news.
I offer my thoughts and prayers to you and your family during this time of mourning.
He was a very blessed man to have such a loving daughter and family.
You are in my heart.
Luv,
Mike
Dentist since 1995, 12 year Cancer Survivor, Father, Husband, Thankful to so many who supported me on my journey so far, and more than happy to comfort a friend.
Live, Laugh, Love & Learn.
| | | | | Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 221 Gold Member (200+ posts) | | Gold Member (200+ posts)
Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 221 | Dear OCF Family,
Thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers and support over the past 14 months. What a bumpy road that was. I've learned so much from each of you which has helped me be able to hold on to my sanity during this ride. Things I learned out here helped so much in making educated decisions regarding dad's treatment.
Dad is at peace now and for that I am grateful. I was honored that he allowed me to be with him as he took his final breath and left us. That moment will be with me for the rest of my life.
It wasn't until I saw the slide show of him at the viewing that I realized the dad that I missed so much had been gone for over a year. Dad never stopped fighting. We never told him that he was dying so every day he spent living until he just couldn't get up anymore. Two days before he died it got to the point he couldn't move on his own. Mom finally told him that he was really sick and she was going to do everything possible to keep him comfortable. We prayed that his passing would be swift and peaceful. It was.
Mom is doing very well. We are back to our pre-cancer routine of talking in the morning and in the evening. She's going to let me take her to some appointments later this month. It's nice that she is so willing to accept help now. This is something that she could do on her own, but I think she just wants me there with her. I'm glad she does.
Thank you all again so much for your kind expressions of sympathy. They mean so much.
Love and Hugs,
Joy
Last edited by PharmGirl; 08-14-2008 07:46 PM.
CG to Father, 75 yo with SCC of the mouth; upper maxillectomy and neck diss. performed on 5/23/07. Father also suffered heart attack during surgery and now has CHF. RT complete on 8/28/07. Cancer back 11/27/07. RT and Chemo to start on 12/17. Cancer back 6/17/08. Finally at rest 08/08/08.
| | | | | Joined: Nov 2007 Posts: 681 "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) | | "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
Joined: Nov 2007 Posts: 681 | Joy,
Your posting is a touching and elegant expression of the love in your family. May you continue to be a source of comfort to each other for many long years. My deepest sympathy to you and your mother.
Malka
SCC stage II Partial mandibulectomy w. neck dissection- July 2005. Renal cancer w. partial nephrectomy-Jan 2004. Breast cancer discovered in routine mammogram. Successful lumpectomy, sentinal nodes clear, RT only-2008 Reconstruction of mandible w fibula free flap-Jan 09. TORS removal of begnin pappiloma from esophagus-2010. Masectomy,rt breast 2013.
Support OCF
| | | | | Joined: Sep 2006 Posts: 8,311 Senior Patient Advocate Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Senior Patient Advocate Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Sep 2006 Posts: 8,311 | What a shame. I'm so sorry.
David
Age 58 at Dx, HPV16+ SCC, Stage IV BOT+2 nodes, non smoker, casual drinker, exercise nut, Cisplatin x 3 & concurrent IMRT x 35,(70 Gy), no surgery, no Peg, Tx at Moffitt over Aug 06. Jun 07, back to riding my bike 100 miles a wk. Now doing 12 Spin classes and 60 outdoor miles per wk. Nov 13 completed Hilly Century ride for Cancer, 104 miles, 1st Place in my age group. Apr 2014 & 15, Spun for 9 straight hrs to raise $$ for YMCA's Livestrong Program. Certified Spin Instructor Jun 2014.
| | | | | Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 10,507 Likes: 8 Administrator, Director of Patient Support Services Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Administrator, Director of Patient Support Services Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 10,507 Likes: 8 | Joy
Im so sorry for your loss. Your father was well loved and well taken care of. May you and your mother find peace in knowing that. Wishing you comfort in this difficult time.
ChristineSCC 6/15/07 L chk & by L molar both Stag I, age44 2x cispltn-35 IMRT end 9/27/07 -65 lbs in 2 mo, no caregvr Clear PET 1/08 4/4/08 recur L chk Stag I surg 4/16/08 clr marg 215 HBO dives 3/09 teeth out, trismus 7/2/09 recur, Stg IV 8/24/09 trach, ND, mandiblctmy 3wks medicly inducd coma 2 mo xtended hospital stay, ICU & burn unit PICC line IV antibx 8 mo 10/4/10, 2/14/11 reconst surg OC 3x in 3 years very happy to be alive | | | | | Joined: Apr 2005 Posts: 2,219 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Apr 2005 Posts: 2,219 | Joy,
You have been nothing short of a pillar of strength through the last 14 months. Your dad was lucky to have such a loving daughter and I know that he knew that.
I am proud to call you my friend.
Jerry
Jerry
Retired Dentist, 59 years old at diagnosis. SCC of the left lateral border of the tongue (Stage I). Partial glossectomy and 30 nodes removed, 4/6/05. Nodes all clear. No chemo no radiation 18 year survivor.
"Whatever doesn't kill me, makes me stronger"
| | | | | Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 221 Gold Member (200+ posts) | | Gold Member (200+ posts)
Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 221 | Awwww shucks Jerry. Just when I thought I had the tears under control you bring another one to my eyes. My strength came from those that I surrounded myself with - which includes everyone out here. Some days it was just too hard to post, but I read every post and saw the stregnth and courage of others fighting the battle and I knew we would get through this. Although I am saddened by the loss of my father, I do still have a lot to be thankful for. I get that from him, always being able to look for the good in any situation. I hope that someday I can give back what I have received from each of you out here. Maybe if nothing else but to help another daughter who is walking down the same road I've been down. Although most of us have never met face to face, I am proud to call myself a member of this family. I plan to retire to the island for a while. Rumor has it that Dr. Mike serves the ladies fancy drinks with the little umbrellas in them. As long as he is not wearing a speedo when he's serving, I'm ok with it. Who knows, I may even buy a fascinator (I think that's how it's spelled) to wear so I fit in. Something in pink maybe. Make room up there in that tree - I'm on my way up. Love, Joy
CG to Father, 75 yo with SCC of the mouth; upper maxillectomy and neck diss. performed on 5/23/07. Father also suffered heart attack during surgery and now has CHF. RT complete on 8/28/07. Cancer back 11/27/07. RT and Chemo to start on 12/17. Cancer back 6/17/08. Finally at rest 08/08/08.
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