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#52016 05-22-2007 07:56 AM
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 27
Mar Offline OP
Contributing Member (25+ posts)
OP Offline
Contributing Member (25+ posts)

Joined: May 2007
Posts: 27
I know that sounds werid but I just don't know. I was sitting in Mass with my mum this morning and I just couldn't stop crying. Today the St.Is St. Rita. The patron of impossible causes. That did it.
do I pray that he gets this over fast. What do I mean by over. The surgery which fills me with horror or the cancer which his only other option is death. He is already in pain.
What quality of life will he have with no speech no hearing on the left side, no jaw bone, eating through a stomach tube? He doesn't like going out to do things in public now. After all of this?
I am so scared. My doctor is saying remain calm or you will come out of remission. I have CFS/ME.
How do you stay sane? I already live one day at a time. If they incease my med's I will be a zomby and of no help to him.
The circle never stops turning in my thoughts. My dreams are full of the pictures of the soldiers I nursed in Veitnam that had lost half thier faces to morter attacks. In living color no less.
Sorry just had to vent.
Mar

Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 794
"Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
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"Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)

Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 794
Dear Mar,
I wish I had some comforting words for you....I feel your pain and confusion of what to pray for...I would pray for peace of mind and healing.
I am still waiting to get a surgery date for my mom, not understanding is agony in and of itself for me. Everyone here has been wonderful, I'm sure you'll find guidance.
Donna


Donna
CG to Mom, dx 4/25/07 with tongue cancer,T3N0,tx began 7/6/07, 31 tx's of IMRT, 8 cycles of Erbitux. Brachytherapy, surgery, left neck dissection and temp trach placed all on 9/17/07, trach removed 10/17/07. ORN of jaw, late effect of radiation symptoms. **lost my beautiful mother on 5/5/11.
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 2,676
JAM Offline
Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
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Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)

Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 2,676
Mar, The only thing I can think of to say to you is that if you were strong enough to get through what you did in Viet Nam, then you will hopefully find the strength to get through this, no matter what the outcome. You have already seem that life has little to do with fairness - it has to do with love,courage,and fortitude. I hope you can call on all of those. And thank you for your efforts during the Viet Nam war- my 1st husband was a part of that one. Amy in athe Ozarks


CGtoJohn:SCC Flr of Mouth.Dx 3\05. Surg.4\05.T3NOMO.IMRTx30. Recur Dx 1\06.Surg 2\06. Chemo: 4 Cycles of Carbo\Taxol:on Erbitux for 7 mo. Lost our battle 2-23-07- But not the will to fight this disease

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