So sorry to hear of your diagnosis. I went thru a similar situation last March. Not a tobacco user and only a social drinker yet stage IV tongue cancer jumped into my lap at age 52. I struggled with how and when to tell our four boys (ages 17-23). My wife thought it best to tell them early rather than wait for my biopsy results and all the treatment details. FYI, my ENT doctor said "99% sure that is cancer" after less than a minute of visual examination.
We ended up telling the boys early before the biopsy verified it as SCC. I realized I was more afraid of taking away their security. Note, I am the single source of our income, maybe some male bravado there too, my wife stayed home with boys for 23 years and counting. And, telling them makes it "more real."
But, I had no idea how their love, support, and strength would help me through. We told close family/work after the biopsy, and then extended family/friends once we had a complete surgery and recovery picture. The emails, letters, texts, and phone calls were so powerful and helpful. I look back now and think I could have opened up to more people earlier. I am also a fairly open person. For some people who are more introverted, this may not be the right path.
We are not big fans of social media. We did everything thru email lists, text, zoom, and phone calls.
Stay safe and keep the faith.