I am so sad and don't know what to say....you are both in my prayers

Hugs,

Shelley

Paula I pray that you will have peace in your heart. I pray that you will not question yourself, but know that you did your best through this journey. I am so sad for you, but I know that Jim will be at rest and at peace.
All my love.
Christine

Paula,
My Mom died of cancer at 52 and my Dad of Diabetes at 67. Both times I thought I had known so long that there was no way I would feel grief at either of their deaths. But you can't pre grieve so don't beat your self up that you aren't ready or you would some how be prepared for this time. As I told a friend this weekend who lost her only son at 43 to a sudden death. I don't think the loss every goes away but the sharp edges smooth with time. I will keep you in my prayers.

Paula

Please don't second guess yourself. My diocesan paper referenced a New Yorker article by an oncologist with this particular excerpt. I hope it provides you some comfort since it documents just how right your actions are:
[quote]The simple view is that medicine exists to fight death and disease, and that is, of course, its most basic task. Death is the enemy. But the enemy has superior forces. Eventually, it wins. And, in a war that you cannot win, you don�t want a general who fights to the point of total annihilation. You don�t want Custer. You want Robert E. Lee, someone who knew how to fight for territory when he could and how to surrender when he couldn�t, someone who understood that the damage is greatest if all you do is fight to the bitter end.

More often, these days, medicine seems to supply neither Custers nor Lees. We are increasingly the generals who march the soldiers onward, saying all the while, �You let me know when you want to stop.� All-out treatment, we tell the terminally ill, is a train you can get off at any time�just say when. But for most patients and their families this is asking too much. They remain riven by doubt and fear and desperation; some are deluded by a fantasy of what medical science can achieve. But our responsibility, in medicine, is to deal with human beings as they are. People die only once. They have no experience to draw upon. They need doctors and nurses who are willing to have the hard discussions and say what they have seen, who will help people prepare for what is to come[/quote]

Dear Paula...I Don't know what to say except that both you and Jim are in my prayers for a peaceful passing and may time heal your heart..

Paula,

So sorry to hear this. I'm praying for you both.

Paula, Honey I'm so very sorry. You are a most wonderful wife and caregiver. Yours is one of the most hardest fought battles I have ever known of. No matter how much you think you are prepared-you aren't. Hold his hand, tell him you love him and know he is going to a better place.

Thanks everyone for all of your heartfelt words and for the wisdom and experience that you all have shared with me. Jim lost his battle yesterday @ 10:45 am. I was holding his hand and rubbing his arm. His breathing never changed - he took one deep gasp of air and then it was done. Death is a thief and it has robbed me of the one thing that was purposeful to me.

I have an appointment at 1:00 today to make funeral arrangements....wish I could crawl into a hole and die with him.

Paula

Paula, may God bless you. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

D

I am so very sorry Paula. There are no words that can ease your pain. Heaven has welcomed another OCF Angel while those of us left behind wish it wasn't so.

My prayers are with you. Sounds very trite to say something like "if there is anything I can do", but you do know your OCF family IS here for you day and night. Some of us have limited speech so we're very good listeners!!

Hugs

Donna