We got the results yesterday - cancer has exploded throughout, when I questioned where, she said that they don't list everything on the report because he is covered in it. They did note that the tumors have tripled in size in his chest, lungs and ribs. He has been in bed mostly over the past several weeks or walking on crutches. The MRI showed nothing, but the PET yesterday showed a fracture in his leg. No more treatment, just monitoring and keeping him comfortable. I had to leave my office today as I couldn't stop crying. He wants to go somewhere for our 3rd anniversary and I can't even think of where to go...cancer is all too consuming for patients and caregivers.

I am sorry to hear the news. You are in my thoughts and prayers!! Semper-Fi Bob

I'm so sorry.

I am so sorry for all that you are both going through, I know how difficult and totally overwhelming it is. I hope you have good support from family and friends to help you through. Do lean on them as much as you need to. Are you connected to Hospice for symptom management and support? Strength and courage be with you to face each day.

So sorry that you and your husband are having to deal with this horrid disease. It can be so cruel.

Thinking of you both

Karen

Hi Paula
so sorry i missed your post last night,i am nursing my mum at the moment and havent been here as much as normal.This is the final news for you and it has crept up on you over the last few months,but hearing the words is devestating.
I will be here if you need me.

love liz

Paula,
I am so sorry. You both are in my thoughts and prayers. May you find a way to celebrate the love you share on your 3rd anniversary.
Wishing you love and peace.

Love,
Donna

I am so so sorry.

Oh Paula I am so sorry......I hate this disease. How is your husband handling this news? You and your husband are in my prayers.

Shelley

I wish I had some words that would offer you some comfort, but I don't think they exist. You know you have the support of those on the board who have walked your path, and I know you will lean on them.

I'm sure you will think of somewhere to get away to for a day or so to indulge yourselves, or maybe you can arrange for your anniversary party to come to you. Special Days are special because of the people you spend them with - not the places you go.

Thinking of you both, and sending a hug.

Donna

I am so, so sorry to hear this terrible news. Knowing there are no words to make your situation better please know you and your husband and family are in my prayers. I hate this cancer! Cherish each and every moment together. It truly is about the time together not where you spend the time. Happy Anniversary. Sending you a huge HUG.

My thoughts and prayers are with you. So sorry to hear the news about your husband. Hope you have some good friends and family to get you through this. This cancer stinks
Nancy

So sorry to hear of these recent development. I am praying that you both may find some moments of comfort and peace during this most very difficult and painful time.

KATE

Paula,

Please know that we all are thinking about you and hope that you have the strength to carry this heavy burden.

Crying some tears for you,

Deb

Paula,
I offer my prayers for you as you go through this. Caregivers are very special and we patients appreciate all your suffering.

I'm so sorry that you are going through this - I know how horrible it is. I echo the recommendations of those above to just spend as much time close to each other as you can. Hold him and tell him how much you love him == and how much you will miss him. Sending you prayers and blessings of peace. Hold on = caregiving is one of the most difficult and certainly the most painful job there is!!
God bless you and your family.

Bonnie

----------------------------
Caregiver daughter Teri, age 43, mother of three, non-smoker, non-drinker, aerobics instructor, SCC 4/06 SCC lateral tongue, partial glossectomy, mod rad neck dissection, 35 IMRT; metastatic return 4/08 to lung, bone, kidney. 10 additional radiation to lung, 3 Docetaxel + Carbo, lost her battle on 9/29/08

I am so sorry. I will keep both of you in my thoughts and prayers. (((((HUGS)))))

I am so sorry too to hear your news and so admire your courage.

Thinking of you at this awful time.

Warmly,

Cathy

Paula, so sorry to hear the news. Our hearts go out to you and your husband. I just finished reading "Chasing Daylight" and I think the biggest thing I took out of it is to live in the moment and try to find the value in each day. Will keep you and Jim in our thoughts and prayers.

So sorry, Paula.

I have you in my prayers and best wishes. Life is just too tuff at times for any of us.

I am so sorry to read your post, I don't have any words to convey my feelings. I am just so sorry.

Paula- I've been off the site lately and had missed your post. I'm so very sorry and as always, you know I'm here for you. I will be checking daily now so if you need to pm me-I'll get it.

Hi Paula,

I'm so sorry to hear this news. I know this time is going to be hard for you. We are all here for you.

Has anyone heard from Paula (Coping in Texas)?? Wondering how she and Jim were doing.

Donna

She e-mailed me and i replied but i haven't heard back .

Hi everyone,
I'm sorry, but things have been very difficult - we're doing fine now. Jim went into the hospital on Monday, November 2nd and we came home this past Monday. His fractured leg got worse and they decided to operate to stabilize the leg (this is the amputated leg). So, it has been extremely difficult as the pain went out of control. They called in pain mgmt. Dr. who did an epidural using Demural the first night, then fentanyl w/ something else the 2nd night and the 3rd day, he was screaming to be put to sleep, plus they had Toridal running continuously through him as well and all the morphine that they could administer. The pharmacy manager came in as they didn't believe that kind of medicine was being administered to a patient and that they had called in their team of pharmacists to review what the Dr. was doing. The Dr.'s told me to go home and rest as they were going to incubate him if he didn't get comfortable within the next 3-4 hrs. So, after 3 days of being up, I went home took a shower and prepped myself for the worst. When I got back, they had given him a shot of Attivan and he seemed more comfortable. The pain became under control for the rest of the night and then on Thursday, it stabilized. Friday night he got up out of bed to use the bathroom - nurses were too busy to get into our room soon enough and Jim fell, but didn't do major damage to himself. They released him from the hospital this past Monday and I have been with him day/night. He won't let anyone help him but me as he says he can do it himself with my help. He lost total control Tuesday nite while taking a shower - I left him in his chair to go empty the trash and told him I'd be right back. I don't know what happened other than he must have become very frightened that no one was with him and he started screaming for me - his voice was extremely hoarse and he had a few explatives to say to me. After that he was fine and has been slowly getting his strength back. So, we are spending a lot of quality time together and trying to enjoy our time together. My brother came in from England and I haven't seen him in 20 + years; he is also battling cancer of the prostrate, but I told him that I needed him and he came. I have really enjoyed spending some time with him - he is very intelligent; he really likes Jim a lot. I'm pretty bitter with my mom and sister as they couldn't drive 4 hrs. as my mom had to take care of her dog and my sister had to check with her work. Keep in mind that my mother has 2 brothers that live on our farm and watch her dog and my sister doesn't work on weekends, which was the time that I had asked them to come. thanks to everyone for all of your prayers and concern.

Love to all,
Jim and Paula

Geez, Paula, you have your hands full. My heart goes out to you. I'm glad your brother was able to come. He sounds like a wonderful guy.
Ginny

I'm not sure what to say Paula. You certainly have raised a chorus of emotions from me - happy to hear from you, sad about recent developments, admiration for your strength of character and Jim's ability to get through what sounds like a hellish ordeal, anger at your "family", and relieved that your brother came to support you. That pretty much wraps it up. Keep us posted. You are in my prayers.

Donna

xxx
liz

Paula and Jim,

You're in my prayers, I hope that Jim's pain continues to stabilize and that you can share some quality time together. It's amazing to me how cancer can bring out the best in some people, like your brother, and others go running when you need their support the most! I will never understand how people who say they love us can keep their distance at times like this!

Sue

Wow Paula, you have been having a hard time. I'm happy that your brother came to help you and I'm sorry your mom and sister let you down. Jim is lucky to have you, you are a strong woman. It sounds like you are doing a great job. Stay strong and I'm thinking of you.

Paula- I'm sending you a pm with both my phone numbers. Please call me anytime of the day or night. I have been where you are and would like to help.

Paula,
Your brother must be a very special person to come as he did. Caretakers also need to be taken care of. Sending prayers for you to have the strenght to see you through these difficult days.

Thanks everyone for all of your replies....Jim's leg is slowly recovering and we hope that he's able to get rid of the crutches soon and start walking again. Had a nice Thanksgiving at our home, Jim's family, my brother and my 2 daughters. Everyone was gone by 5:00 pm so we were able to get to bed by 9....I'm going to attempt the Christmas tree....

so very sorry for what you and Jim are going thru. i hope yall will find some way to celebrate your anniversary. you both will be in my thoughts and prayers always.

I am very sorry to hear of all you and your husband are going through. The very best of wishes to you for celebrating your love together. I know these times are horrible in many aspects but you will also cherish them. I'm so glad that your brother came - sounds like a good brother to me. Sorry your mother and sister have caused you extra pain and hope they come around soon in spirit and body. I will be keeping you in my prayers. Enjoy each other.

Nancy T