"From the time of discovery and for the balance of life, an individual diagnosed with cancer is a survivor."

By Wendy S. Harpham, M.D., Cancer survivor and advocate


Hope all is well,

Survivor. I've been thinking about this word for a while now. And what does it mean? What does it mean to people like you and me? I know some people view themselves a survivor after their treatments are complete and they are considered cancer-free. And I too was thinking that way. Although, I couldn't shake that fateful day of diagnosis...I can't forget it no matter how hard I tried--July 16, 2008--It was a Wednesday, I just walked into the Barber shop and my mobile rang...I stepped out and my Oral surgeon broke the news...I was sitting in my GMC...He apologized, I said it was okay...We called to set up the appointment with an ENT...We hung up...Then I watched my Barber come out of the shop, step into his Mercedes and drive off. I was alone and I cried. It's a memory like when my Grandfather told me Elvis was dead...Unforgettable. I was playing with some Matchbox cars and my Grandfather was watching TV (I was his remote control back then)...Well, he looks at me and says, "Elvis is dead" and I'm like "Who?" He says, "You know, that "Nuthin' but a Hounddog" singer movie guy..." I continued playin' with the Matchbox cars. Pop-pop told me to switch it to NBC, Johnny Carson was on. Young boy with toys or Barber with Mercedes, it doesn't matter--life goes on. It has too, otherwise we would all go insane. Survival.

I had the tumor removed on August 13th 2008, but that date is not as significant as the other, July 16th. My Girlfriend tells me I'm cancer free even though I'll be going through radiation Txs. I had clear margins; although, I won't feel cancer-free until the radiation is complete...But I do understand her way of thought. Her glass is half-full and mine is just half-empty. No, I'm not depressed or pessimistic. I'm a realist and a pragmatist. I also eat the crust of my pizza first and I tend to read magazines from the last page to the first. I'm quirky...My glass is half-empty, because otherwise I wouldn't be able to fill the rest of it up! I'm 37, I'm middle-aged...Because every day past 70 is a gift. It's my way of thinking and it helps me to survive...Even before that fateful date of July 16th.

Since my diagnosis I've considered myself a cancer survivor...I just never told anyone. I didn't want to because my treatments are not complete. Heck, at the time I wasn't sure about my treatments! But, Wendy Harphram solidified my way of thinking...and it helped. Because I feel just a little stronger as a survivor than not as one...A survivor has strength. I can take my half-empty glass and put a little more life into it.

Well now, going to my Subject Title, "How long?"--I was diagnosed on July 16, 2008...A Wednesday...But, since then I've been wondering how long have I been living with cancer? Since the burning sensation of November 2007?...Well before the burning? I don't know...I'm not asking anybodies guess or even an answer...But I do wonder how long I've had it. I suppose it could have been years. Most likely just months. I don't know. I wish I did. At least I'm a survivor. And that's what counts.

How do you feel? What have you thought? You don't have to tell...But I do wonder about all of you...and I hope all goes well!

Filling up that half-empty glass a little faster since July 16, 2008...Someday will be counting my every day is a gift years! I can't remember what movie it was in...But it's one of my favorite movie quotes, "Every day above ground is a good day..."

Best wishes,

Raymond