It is I who should be thanking you (Jim, Christine & Dianne) as well as David, Brian, Gabe and all the posters here. You find what you are looking for and it wasn't a coincidence that I was searching for medical studies on depression. I have always been a "when Life gives you lemons, make a vodka tonic" type of guy (my old recipe: * 6 lemons
* 6 oranges
* 4 limes
* 1 large bottle Stolichnaya Citros (or other citrus-flavored vodka)
* Several bottles of tonic
* Ice )
but the diagnosis of Stage IV a year ago and the daily drudgery of radiation plus chemo reactions intensifying the burns was daunting. Like David, I was one of the lucky ones with no surgery or PEG as well as blessed with a wonderful wife as caregiver and a flexible workplace yet my feelings are more like a quote from a sci fi novel "city on fire":
"I am Wiser now, but it is the kind of Wisdom that can turn a man bitter. I do not know if I am better for having it". Each day is new, and I do try to celebrate it. I just wanted to share some "medical" validation that the "new normal" challenges us to resist depression, persist in enjoyment, smile at life's crap, and believe we can not only survive but thrive.
Everyone here deserves to pat themselves on the back for a job well done.


65 yr Old Frack
Stage IV BOT T3N2M0 HPV 16+
2007:72GY IMRT(40) 8 ERBITUX No PEG
2008:CANCER BACK Salvage Surgery
25GY-CyberKnife(5) 3 Carboplatin
Apaghia /G button
2012: CANCER BACK -left tonsilar fossa
40GY-CyberKnife(5) 3 Carboplatin

Passed away 4-29-13