Jim,
I feel for you very much, and Dell's post above seems to me to just sum up so many things!
If she won't can't be there for you jim, get the support from your family or church---you are MORE than just a 'person in/not in a relationship'---you are you, Barb was with you for 5 years, you were maried and had a family before that.
You may have made mistakes along the way, as we all did.Others often fall short of our expectations and hopes. If anyone could write a book on 'Bliss and Health Forever'--and it actually worked!--they'd be a multi-millionnaire!
What I have learned from 'disatrous' stuff is finally to not take it personally, you've done good stuff, you're not responsible for other people and YOU right now, are the most important person is this horrible scenario you are facing.
Draw on all your resources--you invested a lot of time in your family---call in some 'pay-back time' now, rest, eat and get into next battle tiger!

Brenda