Hi Jim,
Praying for you my friend. You've been on the prayer tree, as is everyone here who I've come to care about.
As for your kids...
I don't know how to explain that one. I see it with my sister and very much with with Eddie's family. Maybe they can't handle it? Fear sometimes leads to poor choices. Give yourself a gift-don't question anything, just embrace them and the time you will share together. They love you I'm sure, and let them know how much you love and enjoy all of them. As Anne-Marie said, it's not about the food...and your son knows that. He probably just needs a 'normal' environment. Do it his way, let him feel a little in control, it may help him. As for you, just be there and let the fun happen.
Lots of love and prayers to you,
Donna