Cindy,
if you don't take care of yourself, no one else will. It takes tremendous strength and focus to be a patient and also a caregiver. It also takes a positive attitude. Maintaining your mental and physical health has to come first.

In AA thay have a little pamplet about staying in the "now". The past is gone and NOTHING anyone does will change it - let it go. The future is not yours so worrying about it is futile also. All you have is today - right now. Stay in the moment and the battle becomes a little easier. It is insanity to get into the "woulda, coulda, shoulda".

Most of us have been blessed with tremendous healing in our marriages as a result of this disease. My wife and I were going through similar trials to yours and I can say that today we are closer and more together than ever, although we had some rough moments during the treatment and post recovery phase - and that mostly because of me.

Sex will naturally go on the back burner for a while as a result of many aspects of the treatment. It was the last thing on my mind as I was fighting for my life.

Maybe it's time to change therapists. Sometimes we outgrow them and need to find a fresh perspective. These are issues that you should be able to find some help for in therapy. I commend you for staying in therapy. I have had a few bad therapists over the years that I have "fired".