I agree with each and every word that Nicki has posted. Distancing yourself would be so painful for your husband and he is already dealing with having cancer. How does Harry feel about it? How is Harry dealing with his feelings of depression and fear? Focusing on this might make it easier to deal with all that is going on for you. I'm not saying neglect yourself by any means. But Harry has so much to deal with and to think about right now that worrying why you are staying on the couch seems a waste of energy for him. Tell him why, explain it to him, give you and him some relief. There is no set of rules for dealing with cancer, all we have is the experience and knowledge of those that have faced treatment before us. Your role in this is as caregiver, Harry needs you, alot!! When you're feeling really, really crappy and depressed, just want to scream and holler and cry.......think of how Harry feels. I was the patient and that helped me alot. When I felt like pitying myself and focusing on how I felt, I would think about my kids, my husband, how they felt and how I didn't want to add anymore to their stress. It helped me so that I didn't get wrapped up in my feelings and make the disease all about me, because it wasn't, cancer is a family affair.
I hope you feel better soon.
Minnie