Thanks everybody. I did print off some other posts of survival and fighting this, but haven't given them to him yet to read. He's kinda pissy right now. He did just wake up and is drinking his first cup of coffee, need to get him to read them in a sober mind. I wanted to put them down where he sits and let him read at his own pace. We talked last night and yes I pointed out the reasons to live, like see our 1st granddaughter go to kindergarten, get to see my youngest daughter marry eventually, live longer than his mom, who just turned 78 the 6th of this month, hear our 2 yr old grandson finally talk, be here for our Clambake in October around his birthday that we started to do annually to celebrate it, 2 weddings to go to July and October. I've been trying to give him reasons. The cancer is under his jawbone not in it that the doc sees but never know until he gets in there, he also has the Thoracic apt for the spot on his lung and last night he was talking bout cancelling that, I'm like Oh no, you need to go to see bout what that is all about too. I am starting back to work Monday and I asked him if I should maybe not and he said no, go back to work. I don't know why when I will be taking off for his surgery(I am hoping he goes that route) we did talk yesterday and I told him it sucked I know but at least it won't be as drastic as having his tounge replaced, but he will still get the neck disection again as the 1st surgery, he also spoke about Roger Ebert and how he looks and I said he looks fine, he's alive! Doc says he feels Ron will not have any major malformation in his face, but you never know until til he gets in there. So far nothing spoke of bone reconstruction so that is a good thing with no other pain caused by this. I told him until they tell him it's terminal and nothing more can be done, don't give up for Christ's sake. He also spoke of not even making it thru the surgery and I said if that happens at least you tried! He needs to get food into him, he's eaten very little, his mindset, if it is too hard to eat it's not enjoyable so he drinks beer to stop feeling hungry...stupid I know and I can't get him to listen. Believe me I've tried. My youngest daughter is upset of his talk of giving up. She's very angry. Thanks for all the encouraging words. Ron believe it or not does not know how to work a computer. He's talked about learning but...he always has other things that he feels is more important to do than learn and I won't try to teach him when he's drinking...IF he makes the decision to live, I will make sure somehow I will get a damn doctor to listen to me to get him on medication to stop smoking AND somehow get him to stop the drinking also. He gets very mad when I try to tell Docs bout his drinking and smoking. It's really bad. But this time I will if he choses life!