Oh Karen! Your RO experience sounds very much like ours! Had J continued with treatment, we would have fired J's RO. We didn't plan to just switch docs quietly, but fire him. I had already verbally given the RO a new excretory orifice by the time J got his 3rd opinion. The RO felt he knew what it was like to be a cancer patient because he treated them. Wrong. We had a little coming to Jesus and he admitted he didn't know what patients feel and experience. In addition, he was oblivious about the psychological importance of second opinions and being completely on-board with treatment. All this from a man who had been an RO for 20 years. Back on topic...

Seems to me that staying nourished is of primary importance. Preserving the swallowing mechanism/ability would be a hair's-width behind it. To me, if you have a PEG it might help to try to get along without using it much. Or, use it but still drink whatever is tolerable (or not impossible) to drink.

Regarding machismo...let's hope no one will sacrifice a better outcome and end up severly ill due to malnutrition because they are too proud to PEG. But, if going through treatment without a PEG is a goal that empowers someone and it works for them, then great!

No two people have the same experience with treatment and so people should be gentle with themselves if they have a tougher time than someone else. Like everything else, it boils down to expectation management.

Sandy