Hi Suez, I am sorry that you and Ron got such difficult news. Getting news like that will knock you flat. Sometimes, it takes a little bit for the fighting spirit to kick in, to bounce back up, and to get back into the game. It's a psychological process of hearing, responding to, dealing with, and then acting on the news that's just hit you.

To me, when we were thinking J had around a 30% chance of survival, it helped to think that he really could be the 1 out of 3 who beat it. 1 out of 3 sounded better to us than approximately 30%...eventhough it is pretty much the same. So, it looked more manageable for him to do whatever he needed to do to make that happen.

I'm sure there are many things that he would like to see...lots to live for. Forgive me for not knowing much about you and Ron personally, but...sometimes remembering that there are important family events in the future--children getting married, the birth of grandchildren, etc. can help get that fighting spirit going. Who can resist the thought of dancing with a beloved granddaughter at her wedding or giving a toast to a beloved grandson and his new bride? I hope there is something you can think of to encourage him that there is so much more for him on this side of the grass.

As Charm and Christine and other folks who have been around for a long time can attest, it is not a pleasant process to let the oral cancer take its course. By all accounts, it is horrific.

If Ron won't participate on the forum, maybe he'd be comfortable with PM's or direct e-mail. I'm sure any number of survivors here would be more than happy to help.

I wish you luck. It's tough when they are stubborn. I have learned to mentally go to my 'happy place'...actually, I'm now having my mail forwarded there!

Love you, girl!

Sandy