It's amazing when the patient is 'pollyanna-ish'...looking at their own cancer DX as a "great adventure." But, the comments from well-meaning close friends or relatives really test that grace under pressure. The numbers 1 through 10 have saved me from reaching right through the phone wires many times--from "his lifestyle brought this on him" to his eating habits, whatever. His ENT even said it would be a wonderful growth experience. Would have been nice if the growth we found was the primary tumor. I remember hearing from a family member, "maybe it's for the best" when we lost a child because of trisomy on the #9 chromosome. Well, my question was...why couldn't it have just been different. All this stuff is just the hand we're dealt, I suppose.