Another topic that strikes close to home!! We do it to ourselves don't we? When we are feeling like death warmed over, we stay home hanging off the end of the bed. When we are feeling merely crap, we venture out only to run into someone we know who asks how we are feeling. Of course we tell them how well we are doing today. We don't mention that yesterday we were contemplating just giving up - it is just all to hard and last week the doctor told us if we didn't gain 5 kilos between now and next week, treatment couldn't continue and without out it we would die.

But today we are well enough to go to the shop and pick up the milk and of course we are not going to share our pain and fear with our acquaintance - - we don't want to upset them or ourselves by saying out loud how we REALLY feel.

And then the carer perpetuates the myth. We are out there doing the same stupid thing.

From my Managing Director, "I saw Alex at the shops at lunch - he looks quite good!".
Says I, "Yes he is responding really well to treatment. He is a bit thin but we are working on that, we are lucky (LUCKY) that the doctors think the tumour is nearly gone."

In my head I am thinking, don't make a fuss, no need to tell MD that the doctors are threatening to withdraw treatment, hospitalise him and force feed him. He also doesn't need to know that he is paying me for almost no work as even when I AM at work, I can't think and am spending most of my time on the net researching or writing long whiny emails that will never get sent to anyone. The emails just sound so awful - and I don't know who to send them to anyway.

Just come to the forum and vent to people who understand.

Karen
PS we are past all this now, and are genuinely optimistic, but we still have our ongoing issues like everyone else.