I'll try to be brief, but lately it seems that once I start talking it all just pours out.. I apologize in advance if I get long winded!
My mom has been battling cancer of the trachea for the past 6 months. Small lump in Nov was the size of a golf ball by the first week of January, twice it cut off her breathing (once during the first round of Erbitux) resulting in hospitalizations. She underwent 33 rounds of radiation and things looked real good when she finished in March, docs were amazed. In April another blister looking bubble appeared on the trach area - yep it was back. She started having pain in her back and stomach.. then more and more difficulty with walking, complaining of hip pains. The neck tumor is now large enough to be interfering with breathing again, just had a 4AM trip to the ER on wednesday. While there I got a call from her oncologist, the pet she had done on Monday shows mets to the liver/pancreas/brain/bones - basically everywhere and I was told there's nothing more that can be done. They said the hospital she had been admitted to would make hospice arrangements before she went home. WRONG! They released her friday with discharge instructions that read specifically if she has breathing difficulty again - don't come back to them...seek treatment at another hospital 1 hour away (rather than the 10 minutes). They didn't inform her of the pet results so she's still unaware of why she's in so much pain. I can't seem to find the nerve to tell her <sigh> but watching her suffer is just tearing me apart. I'm a widow..mom of 5.. an only child of a divorced only child - in other words I'm handling this completely on my own, no support system whatsoever. I'd really appreciate ANY advice - and if others have been here tell me what to expect.. her GP and oncologist just hand me the same information, make her comfortable.
And I guess I should mention my mom is VERY stubborn/determined - apparently she must have gone to some medical school I am unaware of because so far she seems to think she knows best and does the opposite of whatever the docs tell her. She's down to 86 pounds - barely eating or sleeping.. just seems to be in constant pain, but unwilling to take some of the pain meds prescribed because she doesn't want to be viewed as weak, or complains they make her loopy.
I just don't know how to handle all of this
Thanks for listening - feels good to talk (or type) to someone other than my cats (and they haven't been very helpful)!
I look forward to any suggestions you all might have - the help would be appreciated because I can't continue to do this alone.
Thanks again
Kris