Good morning. My 79 year old mother was diagnosed with oral cancer (Stage IV-A) about two weeks ago. Since that time we have made visits to the radiology oncologist, dentist, oral surgeon and back to the radiology oncologist. Tomorrow we meet with the medical oncologist. Everything seems such a blur and no decision of treatment seems clear. The radiology oncologist gave a guesstimated success rate of 50-60% with radiation and chemo combo. which we were very excited about.

Unfortunately, Mother has exposed jaw bone from taking Fosimax in the past. When we met with the oral surgeon after meeting with the radiation oncologist, he seemed extremely concerned about the risks involved with removing Mother's bottom teeth and what would then happen with the already-exposed jaw bone. Although the oral surgeon didn't say it in words, all of his body expressions and vibes told us that he did not necessarily believe the radiation/chemo. route would be an excellent choice when weighing the concerns of possibly not being able to heal properly from the teeth extractions. So, the optimism that we had felt earlier in the day quickly turned into more confusion and doubt about the treatment option. The radiation oncologist had point blank looked at us in his office on the second visit and asked us to make a decision .... "Are you going forward with radiation and chemo. or not?" For two daughters and a mother who have never experienced any path with cancer, we are now left with a blurred vision, uncertainty about where to turn next and how to get clarity, etc.

Mother is a pillar of strength and I haven't seen one tear shed from her. She keeps saying she will deal with what she is dealt and knows that she will be fine no matter what because of her devout faith. My greatest concern is to ensure that her quality of life is at the forefront of everything we do and decide. She has never been sick or down and to think about what this is going to do to her and her body is heart wrenching. I want to do anything that will help her experience the least amount of pain and suffering possible.

Any thoughts or suggestions would greatly be appreciated. I feel blessed to have found this forum to be a part of during this journey that we are beginning with Mother.