Thanks Cookey, I did bare my soul and to this day I think that's one of the things that kept me sane. Ingeborg, being a carer is damn tough. Like Cookey, I also am constantly thinking "how would I feel if I was in Steve's place" and I too have no idea. I don't think we as carers can ever fully comprehend what the nightmare is for our loved ones. We can try but we can only truly understand what the nightmare is for us. You will have good days but you will have some rough one's as well. I suppose that's where the wedding vows "for better or worse" come into play.

My advise I suppose is to stay strong. Cancer will test the strength of you, your marriage and your family. But you will get through it, like we all do. Hopefully your husband will learn from this about what really matters in life and that crumbs or a house less perfect don't really matter in the scheme of things. This is a huge learning curve for you and for him. When Steve had bad moments I sometimes would stay with him, quietly. Other times I would walk away and have some space. Other times I would react and let him know what I thought of his behaviour which I tried not to do but sometimes it happened. The guys here are wonderful so come here to vent when ever you want to. I kept and still keep a blog. It helped me incredibly to get my feelings out plus I got wonderful support from my virtual family here. Most of all, take it one day at a time. Some days will be crap, of that I can assure you, but others will have moments that take your breath away because they are the best. And it can be the simplest things that make these moments the best. These moments are the things you need to hold onto and remember they will come back after the bad moments disappear.
Wendy