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#96607 06-03-2009 05:10 AM
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EzJim Offline OP
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There was a post in Patty's obits that said Patty had fought her battle and won!!!!! Who in their right mind would say dying is winning? That has me steaming inside and I have to let some of the steam out here.. Sorry about that, but I say what I think.


Since posting this. UPMC, Pittsburgh, Oct 2011 until Jan. I averaged about 2 to 3 surgeries a week there. w Can't have jaw made as bone is deteroriating steaily that is left in jaw. Mersa is to blame. Feeding tube . Had trach for 4mos. Got it out April.
--- Passed away 5/14/14, will be greatly missed by everyone here
EzJim #96631 06-03-2009 12:57 PM
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Jim

I have not read (google did not pull any up) Patty's obituaries, so I can't tell the context. But it may help you feel better that it is a standard literary device in obituary writing to paraphrase the "lost the battle, won the war" metaphor. If done correctly, the point is acknowledging that when someone faces the battle the way Patty did, retaining her grace and good humor, she has indeed "won" the war. Some people are "cured" but bitter about the aftereffects: did they "win"?
In my book, Patty was and remains a winner. She refused to let this cancer break her. Living courageously and unselfishly to the end is indeed winning the war, despite death. Take care of yourself
charm


65 yr Old Frack
Stage IV BOT T3N2M0 HPV 16+
2007:72GY IMRT(40) 8 ERBITUX No PEG
2008:CANCER BACK Salvage Surgery
25GY-CyberKnife(5) 3 Carboplatin
Apaghia /G button
2012: CANCER BACK -left tonsilar fossa
40GY-CyberKnife(5) 3 Carboplatin

Passed away 4-29-13
Charm2017 #96636 06-03-2009 01:43 PM
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Charm,
Perfectly worded! I agree. There is a link to Patty's obit on the thread Round Three for Patty. She fought to the end and to me that is winning with grace.
Lori


Lori, cg to H Ron, age 56.
Stage IV Oral SCC-T1N2. Tongue resected and right ND 8/05. Teeth removed, PORT, PEG, IMRT x33, Cisplatin x3. Tx ended 10/05.
Recurrence 7/08 Stage IV. Surgery 8/30/08.
2nd recur. 11/08. 2nd surgery 2/2/09.
3rd recur. 4/9/09. Erbitux wkly. 5/09-?
Ron died 6/6/09.
Lori also passed away 8/20/11, colon cancer
lorileona #96644 06-03-2009 04:51 PM
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EzJim Offline OP
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I have never doubted Pattys courage for a second, but the way that was stated in there was a bit like you just posted Unless they didn't know the difference. I guess that can hapen.


Since posting this. UPMC, Pittsburgh, Oct 2011 until Jan. I averaged about 2 to 3 surgeries a week there. w Can't have jaw made as bone is deteroriating steaily that is left in jaw. Mersa is to blame. Feeding tube . Had trach for 4mos. Got it out April.
--- Passed away 5/14/14, will be greatly missed by everyone here
EzJim #96651 06-03-2009 07:10 PM
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Actually, that phrase was used in a condolence comment on the guestbook -- not in the actual obit.


Leslie

April 2006: Husband dx by dentist with leukoplakia on tongue. Oral surgeon's biopsy 4/28/06: Moderate dysplasia; pathology report warned of possible "skip effect." ENT's excisional biopsy (got it all) 5/31/06: SCC in situ/small bit superficially invasive. Early detection saves lives.
Leslie B #97247 06-12-2009 07:06 PM
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If one defines dying as losing, none of us (or anyone else) has any hope of winning...


Age 67 1/2
Ventral Tongue SCC T2N0M0G1 10/05
Anterior Tongue SCC T2N0M0G2 6/08
Base of Tongue SCC T2N0M0G2 12/08
Three partial glossectomy (10/05,11/05,6/08), PEG, 37 XRT 66.6 Gy 1/06
Neck dissection, trach, PEG & forearm free flap (6/08)
Total glossectomy, trach, PEG & thigh free flap (12/08)
On August 21, 2010 at 9:20 am, Pete went off to play with the ratties in the sky.
Pete D #97848 06-22-2009 12:52 AM
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Well said Pete, well said.


Young Frack, SCC T4N2M0, Cisplatin,35+ rads,ND, RT Mandiblectomy w fibular free flap, facial paralysis, "He who has a "why" to live can bear with almost any "how"." -Nietzche "WARNING" PG-13 due to Sarcasm & WAY too much attitude, interact at your own risk.

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