Did any you feel all alone after your Dx. I know that I am a lucky one to cath it so early, and am very greatful for that. I can not wrap my hands around the idea of having SCC in the first place. Some days are better than others, but I am trying to be strong for my children and not show emotion. When I went back to work on Wednesday for ths first time, I am a teacher, I had some kids making fun of the way i was talking. I was not upset with them because all they know is my voice sounded different. What I did get upset was another colleague made a smart remark about the kids not understanding me. That really upset me. I am very self-contious about my speech anyway. Today I had a kid tell me he couldn't understand me. I was not upset at him, but the fact that I can't talk right any more. How can I teach my students if they do not udnerstands. I love my job and I would not change it for the world. Now, I just want to be left alone. My own children want me to do things with them and I do not want to. I want to in my room and just be in bed. IS this a stage of the process that you go through? Does it get easier? I am really trying to have faith, but when ever I talk to someone about this all they say That is not a good one to get. No cancer is good to get. Anyway, sorry I just needed to vent.

Angelia, little sister is a teacher in Chicago where it;s a rough job,, I bet she can give you some pointers. I psy no sttentio when someone makes fun of me, I had to call a company the other day about a problem, The lady spoke aboue as much good english as an asian bull could. She ehad the nerve to tell me she couldn't understand me, LOL I said lady I have had cancer and can't be understood sometimes, Now what in the hell is the reason I can't undersand you?? I told her to quit her job and go learn some english so customers would understand what she was trying to say, Needless to say she sure did get polite,, BUt I didn't LOL

Angelia,

All of us have to get adjusted to having cancer. That's just normal. Time and this site will help you a lot in that regard.

Angelia, I know how you feel. I was there once myself. I have used crutches, splints, neck braces and now a walker for over 20 years. Several years ago a neck surgery cut the nerve to my Rt Vocal Cord. This had a big impact on my speech. For my physical appearance I've said "I had an accident", "was in a bar fight", "fell down stairs", "arthritis". depending on the person asking. You get the idea. My neck on the Rt has so many scars, from 5 fusions and now 2 cancer surgeries I'm thinking of using,
"its my make-up for a "Horror Skit", looks real huh". With little kids I just explain very simply.

My speech could be difficult to understand to some people. My cancer surgery has made it harder yet. Especially over the phone. You didn't say how old the kids are that you teach. I tell all ages that I
had an operation and it is difficult to speak. To tell me if they don't understand a word or words. I do try to speak slower and concentrate on pronouncing as clearly as possible. I practice in front of the bathroom mirror. Kids pickup what you're trying to say faster than adults. As a teacher you have a blackboard to go to if all else fails. Have you let the kids know why your speech has changed? This would be a good teaching opportunity. I know it may make you uncomfortable. It's ok to feel down for awhile as long as you are working at making things better. Venting here is good. Good luck.

I have not even thought about telling them why my speech has changed. I teach special ed students and co-teach in some reguarl classes. I mainly work with 6th grad students. My special ed. students know that I had mouth surgery and are very understanding when I have stop tlaking because it hurts. The classes I co-teach in do not know all the information as to them I am just an aid.

Angelina,

What you are feeling is NORMAL. I had a very hard time too. I work in customer service so I can understand the talking at work problem also. I wish I could give you a hug....you will get through this. You will come to terms with this in your own way, at your own pace and that is ok. I'm sorry the people you work with are not sensitive to what you are going through but people can be rude. Do you have anyone at work that you are close to? I used to walk with my boss every day and she was a huge help to me and still is.

I would like to thank you for what you do. My younger sister is in special education classes and what you do is a wonderful thing.

Please feel free to send me a PM whenever you need to vent. I hope this site is helping you also...there are a lot of wonderful people here.

There are a few people at work I can talk to, but this is my first year at this school. Now don't get me wrong most of my colleagues have been very supportive and my boss especially. She has said to take as much as I need to recover. I guess my whole thing is that it all happened so fast.

Well, my heart goes out to you - I taught at a Community College
many years Our company bought another company and they have moved in with us. One person said they thought I had been in a car crash or something. I just said nothing. I don't want to tell them what happended to me because I don't want their sympathy. I wear turtlenecks and mock turtlenecks all summer. I need to quit that
I know. It's hot and it looks stupid I know, but I cannot stand to look at my neck.
My speech also varies from day to day. Somedays good - it depends on how I sleep and how much or what I try to eat. I try to speek slowly and that helps, but it is hard to remember. I would
think children would be more forgiving.

It is hard, but we have the guts to carry on. Just hold your head high and know how strong you really are.

We are here to listen. Every day is a new one with new changes.
I'll be cheering you on from afar.
Debbie

Angelina, I can say that I can relate to you in some ways. My speech was more affected by facial paralysis then by my mandiblectomy/fibular free flap. Anyway I managed hotels in my previous life and due to my severe speech impediment, I am no longer able to do what I did before cancer. I get stared at wherever I go due to my scars and disfigurement due to the facial paralysis. I've been called retarded several times and people generally have the "what the hell happened to you" reaction to me and some have even said that to me.

I made my living and got to my station in my field due to my ability to speak, publically and in a sales/customer environment. The way I looked helped me in everything I did, not to sound pompus at all, however I made sure I was meticulously dressed and groomed at all times. Now I look totally different, horribly disfigured and I lost 70lbs so none of my fine clothing fit. I look like hell and that draws a lot of attention.

I have a hard time seeing myself in the mirror or even pictures of me from before cancer and not breakdown. I know that eventually I have to come to grips with my "new" self but I loved the old me and I'm still a little bitter losing that.

Angelina,
it does get better you are just barely out of surgery!! I suspect a lot will come back but you must give it some time; it is actually amazing how much you can and will adapt and compensate. (Although YOU may not think so).
Then there is this, there is a huge variety how clearly people speak anyway (accents and all that, just look at Arnold.. ok bad example). One way to combat your problem is to increase the visual portion of teaching (use more graphs figures/handouts).... or the ppt lecture from hell!
I still have problems with some words too.... just try to say magnetic susceptibility quickly.... same with assassin (although that word I do not use that much in class). Also consider this now and again: we are lucky to be able to have these problems.

M

Angelina, that really stinks that someone you work with is so ignorant to make a rude comment. I would feel the same as you, its one thing for a child who doesnt fully comprehend this to say something. Kids will adapt but shun anything 'different'. As far as the collegue, have you confronted them? I would and its not being rude either. Just would want to clear the air and set the record straight so they understand it wasnt a choice to talk differently, it was medically necessary. If that didnt work, approach their immediate supervisor and Im certain it will immediately cease. Harrassment in the workplace is against the law as is bullying especially someone with a disablity. I am like Suzanne and work in customer service where my voice is my job. I work very hard to overcome any speech problems to talk clearly so everyone can understand me. Its a difficult job and doing it with a voice problem makes it much more difficult. Stand up and be proud, not everyone can persevere as you have

Angelia, I have so many scars and especailly on my stomache area that I will nmot take my shirt off unless it is absolutely necessary for a medical procedure. My shoulders have scars about 10 inches long, the right one has a triple operation scar about 10 inchs long, this one from 1 bicept tendon repairs, the 1st was a joke as was the DR that did it as it had to be repaired using a staple, I was the 1st for this to be tried on at UPMC in Pittsburgh Pa, the left has a mayching scar from rotator cuff repair using a crew and washer, one elbow has a nice scar, then my stomache looks like it was the drawing board for a railroad track blue print. I have 2 sets of scars from the anneurysm with 1 still to go. One goes from close to my right side across and up the left side and the other is straight up the center to the middle of my chest. Then there are the scars from the nissen fundiplication to my esophagus. Looks like much oversized dimples big enough to hie something in. LOL Nope. my shirt will remain on. I don't even look unless I have to. Side ways I am the pic of health and look like a young body from working out the past few months.

Thank you all so much for the nice replies. I am doing much better, and that colleague of mine did apologize about making the first comment. Then went one to say that I did sound kind of funny. I did not get upset with her, just chalked it up to she did not understand what people with oral cancer go through. I did want to say, "Try talking with part of your tongue missing just a week afterwards." Anyway I am feeling much better, and thankful for everyday. One a better note, school is out for the summer and I will not have to see this person for a little over 2 months.

I agree with Christine, as usual:) If I was in Oklahoma I would be there to say something to that woman for you. I tend to be outspoken when needed. Especially with something like this. At least you don't have to see her for a while. Maybe she will realize the error of her ways.

Talk to you on Tuesday

That rude lady will never learn of her lesson. She is just plain old ignorant and doesnt understand cancer.

Come on Suzanne, we need a road trip! First to see our pal Patty, then stop by and say hello to Jim, next swing over to Oklahoma right in time for school to start.

Us OC survivors can be a tough bunch

Rude ignorant people like that make me really cranky!!!

I'm just loading up my car for the road trip! It might take me a while to get there, but where will I meet you?


Angelia, things WILL get better with time. You have just had surgery and there is probably swelling that still has to go down, which will make a huge difference.

Karen

On the cafepress web site is a t-shirt that says "Carefull, I already kicked cancer's ass". I think you need to wear that one to school. And Markus, you have a problem with the governator's California accent?

Re Arnold... Hell no!!

I have an accent myself ...... (part Swiss, Part Emory)

M

I think I would get fired if I wore a shirt like that to school. My tongue is getting better however, I had my first taste of real food tonight and then bit the you know what out the tip of my tongue. Hey, couldn't feel it, until my teeth hit each other. Went to the bathroom and I bit it pretty good. Guess I better be more careful, huh? Someone else made a comment about my speech this weekend. She also knew that I had this cancer in my mouth. I am getting sick of it. I just want to kick their you know what!!!!

walknlite,, go for it and don't take pity or use vaseoline , Bury it good.

I just thank God for every minute I get to spend with my children. I go back to the Dr. July 1, and schedule the PET scan then. I guess I will not rest easy until after the PET scan.

Alright Chrsitine!! I'm ready for our roadtrip:) We can be some tough cookies!!!

Angelia, I don't know why people keep saying things to you. Do they realize what you have been through?!?!?!?! What do they expect? Try to take it easy until the PET. That is too far away to not rest.

We are always in your corner and will provide you a place to vent.

Thanks guys. I am doing rather well now. I can pretty much eat anything I want, but when I do I get a lot of swelling underneath my chin. I go to my PCP Wednesday, I will ask her about it. If she thinks I need to go back to the ENT I will.

Angelia, I just wish I could eat any one thing that doesn't need made into a mash or liquified. It's been a year and a half for solid foods with no end in site. I think I could take on a gorilla for 1 good meal that I could eat and taste. I feel for you and pray you are alright, but thank the lord I am here to even complain. LOL Wish you all the luck there is.

I know that my case could be worse. I pray for each and everyone of you on here. You all have been there for me since I made my first post. If i had not have found this place, I do not know what i would have done. I want to return the favor. Life does throw curve balls sometimes. I know that we are all strong and can hit the curve balls out of the park. Thanks for all your encouragement, JIm. You are amazing.

Hi Angelina,

I'm happy you found this site too and that we were able to help you. It has helped me a lot too. You say you know you could be worse and that is a good way to look at it. But...don't downplay what you have been through. We are all fighters here with this crappy disease:)

xoxo

Hey I have been gone a while someone mention "ROAD TRIP" Count me in too ....Please...when should week book the BUS?!

You guys are all so awesome. I actually got a chance to talk with a friend of mine yesterday about this whole ordeal. She said she would help you all kick some you know what. She actually said that the next time it happens to ask them how they would talk with part of their tongue whacked off. Maybe even to ask thm if they are an adult. Even at dinner the other day, we were eating with friends, and this "friend" began to make fun of my speech, saying "what I don't understand you" and making garbled speech sounds. Well, let me tell you she is no longer a friend of mine. She actually new about the whole ordeal as my husband is her boss.

please tell me you poured something over this "friends" head and told this "friend" "oops sorry, my coordination must have been effected too" what a jerk! count me in on the road trip!!!

Hi I'm Lyn. I still speak with a slight lisp two years later...whats worse..Im a singer. Funnily enough, the only thing I CANT do when I sing is roll my R's...so no singing in French or Italian! So yes, it does get better. As far as those who make remarks...either poke your 'now cancer free' tongue out at them, and tell them to get a life OR to watch out, as you initially injured your tongue BITING a STUDENT who gave you back talk! heheh Only you need to know the truth. Life vs Death vs Stoopid insensitive remarks from morons? I choose Life (with attitude!) heh heh! Ignore the morons!

HI! I too was not a fan of mash. Try using chop sticks...you can place the food at the back of your mouth (and yes still taste it!) Give it a go..it may work for you Good lyck Lyn xxxx

I'm having speech problems too I noticed if I talk to fast my words roll together. I'm going to a Speech therapist today to see if they can help. I had my surgery April 21st 2009 it might be too early for my speech to come back. I was told it would give it time. My tongue feels double of size it's still swollen, the side of my face still feels numb but not like it was is this normal?

Connie

Dianne...Christine and I will pick you up!! We may have to get a bus that is for sure!!!

Angelina...I am disgusted at what this "woman" said to you. It amazes me that someone could be so rude and ignorant. Do you have a phone number? I would settle for a phone call...lol Just kidding, I'm just sorry you have deal with that. Like you don't have enough going on.

Keep your head high..you are a fighter and she is not, obviously.

xoxo
We got your back here:)

Thanks. I do appreciate all of your support. I am so glad that I found this place. I realy do wish people would stop talking to me about the way I talk. Someone else said something today. Was not being mean, but mentioned that I was not talking as well today as I was yesterday. UGH! I am self-contious about it enough. I did not feel like a fighter today. I think reality has just set in. I did see my PCP yesterday and she recommended I go see a counselor/psychologist. I am not one to do that, but I bit the bullet and made an appointment with one.

Hi Angelina,

It's ok to not feel like a fighter everyday. We all break down and that's important too. I went to a therapist 2 1/2 years after my diagnosis and it helped A LOT. I think you should give it go...if the first person isn't a good fit for you try someone else. I didn't like the first one I went to..there was no connection. When I did find my therapist, I cried for the entire hour of my first appointment:) It felt soooo good. I proud that you made the appointment. Keep us posted with how you are doing.

Angelina, have you been to a speech therapist? I went to one and they were very helpful. I do customer service over the phone so its very important that I am able to speak properly. Its worht a try even just to get evaluated.

Thats a good idea to see a therapist. Many people on here have gone to one and also taken anti depressants. Its nothing to be ashamed of, its a positive choice you are making. Good job!!!

Angelia, I agree with the others, first, every day can't be a "fighting" day, sometimes you need a day off from that. I also strongly agree with seeing a councelor, I would definitely look at that as a good move, they are there to help make you feel better about yourself and help you to understand yourself, I think they are a good tool to have and is definitely not a negative. I would use that to your full advantage! Good luck,best wishes.