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Joined: Aug 2008
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David:

I too would like to chime in and pay my respects. I am so sorry you have lost a friend. We can never understand what goes through someone's mind. I too have been tempted and it really is not easy. Everyone around me smokes and this makes the demon even harder to fight. Am still standing firm sometimes with one hand hanging on but come back. The addictions we face can sometime surpass our will and this makes no sense at any given time. The loss is great. I am sure you will remember your times with fondness and smile when you remember how she touched your life.


Dianne..treatment at cc at Victoria Hospital, London, Ontario...insulin dependant, Surgery Sept 8/08 Tracheotomy,composite resection and bilateral neck dissection, left radial forearm free flap... T2N0 squamous cell carcinoma. No radiation A little over 2 yrs clear YAY
Joined: Mar 2006
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My best buddy is about my age (early 40's). He has been a smoker for the 20 years I've known him and well before that. His dad died several years ago from H/N cancer believed to be from a lifetime of smoking. I really thought that would be the trigger to make him stop smoking himself, but it didn't.

Then when I was diagnosed, not even having been a smoker, I thought that would be the trigger. It wasn't. Even after he has seen the hell I've been through with the treatments and the surgeries, he doesn't even seem interested in trying to quit. I keep telling him, bud, you don't want to do this. It's not too late...you can quit and get your body on the path to recovery. But the pull is too strong and he doesn't seem to have the will to fight it.

I've never been a smoker so I can't imagine, but I've seen how incredibly strong the addition can be, even in the face of events which would seem to put a lot of fear into a person.
-Steve


Age 41 - Stage 2 SCC tongue Dx 2/06. Cisplatin x3, IMRT x35. Mets to neck node discovered 7/07. RND 40 nodes removed, margins not clear. Cisplatin, Taxotere, 5-FU Fall 07, then IMXT/Erbitux for 7 wks. Inoperable mets to both lungs and pleura Dx Oct'08. 4 cycles Carboplatin, Erbitux, 5-FU so far.
Joined: Apr 2007
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David,

Sorry to hear about your friend Kathy. The addiction to nicotine is just too strong for some to overcome. My husband has smoked since he was 17 years old...quit for about a year in his early 30's, and is now 54 years old. He smokes 1/2 pack a day, mostly in his car and at work, not at home. My sister lived with us, along with her husband during the radiation and chemo, for 8 months he saw up front what she had to go thru, and he still chooses to smoke. My sister was a health nut, ran marathons and was a vegan, only ate organic, never smoked and she died. His dad died from leukemia at the age of 58, never smoked. His best friend died from melanoma at the age of 56, just 3 years ago, smoked a pipe occasionally, but enjoyed his beer and fishing. On the other hand his uncle died at 75 years old (lung cancer), my dad died at 75 (COPD), and my brother in law's mother died at 75 (lung cancer)all were smokers.

I get on his case about smoking every now and then, but if you look at what we have experienced...all I can say is, what life hands you doesn't make sense at times. Go figure...

Hope your wife has a wonderful 50th...it's a milestone and a time to reflect back and appreciate what we have and have been thru.

Best to you,

Nancy


Caregiver to sister Connie, dx 2005, scc tongue, 4 surgeries inc. radical left side neck dissection 7/06, 35 IMRT, and 7 cisplatin 2/07, passed away 8-11-07, 51 yrs. young, fought with courage, strength and grace, found peace on her new journey.
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I am about to hit my 1 year anniversary post surgery. I am concerned about recurrence so am doing some reading on the forum. I know this post is several years old but just have to comment. I totally understand the smoking thing. I quit 4 years before my DX. Thought I would never suffer from my 20 year habit. Doctors won't say my smoking caused my cancer...but I believe it did. But even that does not stop the desire to smoke for me. My hubby still smokes....he has tried to stop but hasn't conquered the monster. I vape now instead of smoke....but only in the evenings after work. The smoking demon is a tough adversary. I hate to say that....but even after the hell I have been through...there is not a day that goes by that I don't want it.....just being real.



48 yo female, quit smoking 4yrs ago, light drinker, Stage 2 SCC, Bx3, Dx 8/22/13, surgery 9/11/13. Partial glossectomy, bilateral neck dissection levels 1-4. Tongue reconstruction with flap from forearm. 87 Lymph nodes CLEAR. Tongue margins good at 1 cm. No further treatment planned. Monthly monitoring planned for upcoming year then periodic monitoring for next 4
Joined: Nov 2006
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David �
I�m so sorry to hear of your friend Kathy�s passing. For a non-smoker, it is so difficult to understand this addiction to smoking. I lost a very dear friend (an RN) a few years ago and I still remember the anguish in her voice as she tried to convey how impossible it was to quit an addiction. She had counseled many drug addicts as well as survivors of pedophile abuse in her practice, and once when I confided to her that the son of a friend of mine was addicted to drugs, she told me that an addict will do anything at all to keep the habit going � anything. She died in her 60�s and the loss of my friend is still felt by all who knew her. In my mother�s family of 6 siblings all but one smoked. The non-smoker lived well into his 90�s. My mother and the rest all died in their 60�s and 70�s. So it does shave a few years off one�s life.

And now, my older son, a smoker � says he is trying to quit �some day�. We�ve reached the point, where I try not to mention it anymore because the last time I did, it did not go very well. But I will give him the www.quitnet.com url for him to consider. Thank you for the link, Donna � you�ve given me a little ray of hope.

David � please wish your beautiful wife the happiest birthday ever!! Fifty is Nifty!! (I know, I�ve been there!) Hope the birthday celebration goes just great in every way!


Anne-Marie
CG to son, Paul (age 33, non-smoker) SCC Stage 2, Surgery 9/21/06, 1/6 tongue Rt.side removed, +48 lymph nodes neck. IMRTx28 completed 12/19/06. CT scan 7/8/10 Cancer-free! ("spot" on lung from scar tissue related to Pneumonia.)



Joined: Oct 2011
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Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 225
I can't let this topic go by without a comment. Please be compassionate about smokers. I gave up smoking at 37 after having smoked since starting at university at 18, when, as I recall, in those days the non-smoker was the odd one out. I had managed to give up 4 times for about 12 months a piece, over an 19 year period, but always "fell off the wagon", usually because it was so long since I'd had a cigrette I thought I'd be safe just having one - famous last words! The only reason I finally (hopefully) gave up was I was in the middle of an attempt to quit when I met my husband who absolutely detested smoking. I knew that if I took it up again that would be the end of the relationship.

It is a most insidious drug. In fact, just the other day I (half)joked to someone that if I heard there was a comet heading towards earth, the very first thing I would do would be to buy a carton of cigarettes !!

Years ago my sister lost her dearest friend to lung cancer at 42, and I remember how shocked my sister and her husband were each time they visited this woman in hospital - even at this time she was struggling outside the hospital building to have a cigarette and was smoking like a chimney (this was at a time when you could smoke outside hospital buildings so I suppose that's what she was doing).

Nicoteine has a vice-like grip and I feel so sorry for anyone who has a HNC diagnosis and still can't quit.



Brother 49yo DX 22/6/11 Tonsil SCC HPV+ Stage IV T4N1(?)M0. Carbo/docetaxel (Taxotere)19/7, 11/8 (with E-tux), 1/9; E-tux 11/8, 25/8, 15/9, 30/9, 14/10, 28/10; IMRT X 35 (70gy tumour;63gy nodes;56gy gen area) 19/9-4/11/11. Clear PET scan 1/2/12. 1 and 2 year post treatment checks good.
Joined: Mar 2014
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Posts: 286
I'm with you there Sam. Its very difficult to quit. You know you should, you know all the reasons and the dangers, but there always seems to be plenty of time. I'll quit next year. Or I'll quit by 40. or 50. Or some other deal you make with yourself.

Never again. Not one, not ever. Thats how it has to be.


Cheers, Dave (OzMojo)
19Feb2014 Diagnosed T2N2bM0 P16+ve SCC Tonsil.
31Mar2014 2 Cisplatin, 70gy over 7 weeks (completed 16May2014)
11August2014 PET/CT clear.
17July2019 5 years NED.
Joined: Dec 2003
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Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
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I'm of the belief that forcing the stress of quitting during treatment can be as deadly as the cancer or treatment. With elderly and terminally I'll, I don't believe it should ever be discussed. Studies have shown if you smoke for over 10 years and quit, the cardiovascular system improves with in weeks/months but the risk of cancer never goes down.

If one can quit smoking to save a relationship, it should follow that one should quit smoking to save their life.

The tobacco companies should have to pay all medical bills of those who smoke or those who are around second or third hand smoke, but they are allowed to just keep on killing folks. It makes no sense.


SCC Stage IV, BOT, T2N2bM0
Cisplatin/5FU x 3, 40 days radiation
Diagnosis 07/21/03 tx completed 10/08/03
Post Radiation Lower Motor Neuron Syndrome 3/08.
Cervical Spinal Stenosis 01/11
Cervical Myelitis 09/12
Thoracic Paraplegia 10/12
Dysautonomia 11/12
Hospice care 09/12-01/13.
COPD 01/14
Intermittent CHF 6/15
Feeding tube NPO 03/16
VFI 12/2016
ORN 12/2017
Cardiac Event 06/2018
Bilateral VFI 01/2021
Thoracotomy Bilobectomy 01/2022
Bilateral VFI 05/2022
Total Laryngectomy 01/2023
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 2,671
Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
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From what I've seen and experienced, saving a relationship is not always reason enough to combat the strong hold of the addiction. I'm all for getting the tobacco companies to pay all medical bills and I would be happy to donate to a cause that gets them to do that. In the meantime, maybe there is hope for the newest generation and for all those who spread awareness about the dangers of tobacco addiction. It does seem that there are less smokers around, than there were years ago when it was considered "cool" to be a smoker. With OCF and Rodeo Cowboy Cody Kaiser, we are on the way to making it "cool" NOT to use tobacco products of any kind. "Be Smart, Don't Start". I also like the advice to young girls: "Don't Drink, Don't Smoke, Don't Chew and don't date boys that do."


Anne-Marie
CG to son, Paul (age 33, non-smoker) SCC Stage 2, Surgery 9/21/06, 1/6 tongue Rt.side removed, +48 lymph nodes neck. IMRTx28 completed 12/19/06. CT scan 7/8/10 Cancer-free! ("spot" on lung from scar tissue related to Pneumonia.)



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