David,

I think you missed my point. If she is too weak to go outside to smoke, then she is too weak to get this stuff herself. There has to be an ENABLER around that is buying this stuff for her and that is what needs to stop. While she probably won't quit, you don't have to make it easy.

Yes, there are people who smoke and drink through the entire thing although I fail to see how they get the hard stuff down without a peg. Beer is easier. Even water burned my tongue so there was no way I could consume alcohol if I wanted to - no peg.

If you'd like another picture of stupidity, try this one. How about a fellow employee with lung cancer, now deceased, standing out on the curb with his oxygen tank smoking a cigarette. I guess when it's terminal, why not.

Take care,
Eileen

Hi everyone,

Thanks for all the advice. As of right now she is hospitalized due to her weight (71lbs) and the fact that her electrolytes, etc. are all off and she is dehydrated. Plus her kidneys are shutting down.

To answer some of the questions... up until last week, she was living on her own. She has been with me a week today (Tuesday). I didn't know she had stashed cigarettes and a bottle of booze in her bags. I REFUSE to buy her any of it. She switched from beer to liquor because she says the liquor doesn't burn like beer. ??? I believe she has had 5 weeks of radiation and she claims everything burns her mouth, but still able to drink alcohol. She has even stopped eating because of her mouth. It isn't like she is drinking or smoking alot, but in my mind I think she shouldn't be doing either, at all. Her cancer is just going to come back. Well, she is in the hospital now and they are fully aware of what has been going on at home, so hopefully it will all be addressed.

Take care everyone,

Sharon

Eileen,

No, I didn't miss your very good observation. I just was trying to remind you of some of the people we have both seen that totally ignored all common sense and continued to drink and/or smoke when they must have known it would most likely kill them.

Sharon,

Lets hope they can get her body back in check and keep her off the cigs and booze.

It is probably the carbonation in beer that creates problems. At least I had issues with carbonated soft drinks for a long time and I still tend to avoid them.
I cannot imagine how she is able to handle hard liquor at this stage.

M

When I initially posted, I didn't realize that she is 7 weeks post radiation, I thought she was just starting or in the middle of radiation. Hopefully the hospital is getting her hydrated and functioning again and maybe with the tube she will be able to get her weight up and health back.

I was able to drink small quantities of beer and wine 4 weeks after radiation. Beer was one of the few things that tasted good and quenched my thirst. While the carbonation in soda really bothered me, it took me so long to get a beer down that I think it too was probably flat by the time I finished it. I too can't imagine how she is getting hard liquor down, but then I guess it depends on what it is and what she is mixing it with. I still think it would burn the tongue like crazy.

Eileen

"Common sense" only exists in the minds of "normies" not addicts.
Tobacco is allegedly more addictive then Heroin.

She can bounce back very quickly once she is re-hydrated.

I would suggest that you seek out a support group, caregiving for one and Alanon and possibly ACA as well and get some help for yourself. It might seem strange but it's not your mother who has the problem.

These kinds of problems don't just happen in a weeks time. This must be an ongoing issue. I am surprised that she got by without a full time caregiver as long as she did, alcohol, tobacco or not.

I also have to ask what kind of pain management protocol is she on? The alcohol can have deadly side effects when combined with many narcotics or is she undermedicated and medicating herself with alcohol (and thats got to be tough since, like Marcus said, it must burn like hell).

Being a caregiver can be very difficult with the best of patients. In many ways it is far more difficult than what a patient goes through. Get some help and respite care for yourself. Set some boundaries about the smoking in the house- but not ultimatums - just consequences and choices. It is a gift to caregive and also an obligation right out of the 10 commandments. It may not seem like it now but if you can get through this to the other side it will be much easier living with yourself knowing that you did all you could, rather than second guessing yourself.

Eileen and others.
When my husb was first diagnoised with Alzheimer's I joined a site much like this one. The things I learned there & the freindships I made have been invaluable. Now I find myself on this site for support with my husband's cancer.
I found on the Alz board much the same that I am finding here. For all both issues are so terriable I find I am very lucky in that I have a wonderful step daughter and a son & daughter who are always willing to listen to me and ready to help out so I can get out of the house for a break.
My husband is so easy to take care of which makes things so much easier for me. Others like you have these other issues to deal with on top of what is already a tramatic situation.
My very best to you & your family.