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#833 03-06-2003 12:49 PM
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 17
Kelly Offline OP
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Hi all its been awhile since my last post. A quick rundown about my father. Well he had scc stage 4 of the tongue, did 80 radiation treatment and chemo, not even a month out of treatment my father had a huge lump on the side by the saliva gland so they biosopy it. Yesterday 2 weeks after biospy results are in positive for yet another tumor. Doctor says at this point it is inoperable because of the location (very back of tongue toward the voice box) it is very large, anyways now they are trying chemo for 3 weeks to see if they can shrink it. Doctor said maybe it will maybe it won't if it doesn't work then hes terminal.
Now I am his 29 year old daughter, he is 51. We have always been very close like best friends and now im scared to death i'm going to lose him.
I have been there every step of the way for him and now Im not sure what to say to him, (hes in denial right now.) Oh he also only weights 105 lbs. I am so angry and hurt and scared to death. This has been the hardest thing I have ever experienced in my life. I feel like I'm just watching him die slowly and that sucks. The doctors main concern right now is to try and keep him as pain free as possible.
Thanks for listening just needed to get that off my chest.

Hurt and Confused by all of this

Kelly


Kelly
#834 03-06-2003 03:29 PM
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 235
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Hi Kelly, I am so saddened to hear the news regarding your dad. What a terrible thing to hear, especially after all he's been through already with the treatments. Have you asked the doctor about any experimental treatment(s) your dad might try? There are no guarantees with this - but at this point, it seems this would certainly be an option to look into. After all, if your dad isn't a candidate for such a procedure - then I don't know who would be. Also, what about looking into one of those famous treatment centers that advertise on TV and radio? They seem to offer many more options in medical and holistic treatment of cancer, than the standard conventional treatment that hospitals give. Please tell your dad - that even though this is a shock, and the news is discouraging - tell him not to give up hope. There is always hope - and yes, there are people who can beat this even when the odds are way against them. Encourage him and keep him occupied in his favorite hobbies and pasttimes - they are good diversions. Make sure he is aware that his family is totally behind him and give him the love and support he needs. All these things help to keep a positive mindset - and hopefully that will help to keep his resolve to live and fight this dreaded disease. My thoughts and prayers are with you both. Take care.


DonnaJean
#835 03-06-2003 07:03 PM
Joined: Nov 2002
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Kelly,I feel so sorry for you and your dad. Don't ever give up and indeed there are stories of people who can survive much longer than the verdict given by their doctors.My 60-year-old cousin who was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer is a good example. Her doctor did not give her any treatment and she is given only a few months' time but having a positive mind helps her go through many critical times. Despite the pain from the chest and bone, she insists on walking along the hillside every morning. She is now one year after the diagnosis and is still doing fine and the size of the tumors in her lung remains the same. A saying may help you a bit: Tough times never last but tough people do.

Karen stage 4 tonsil cancer diagnosed in 9/01


Karen stage 4B (T3N3M0)tonsil cancer diagnosed in 9/2001.Concurrent chemo-radiation treatment ( XRT x 48 /Cisplatin x 4) ended in 12/01. Have been in remission ever since.
#836 03-07-2003 02:29 AM
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Dearest Kelly,
I had read your post and I too wanted the oppritunity to offer up my thought's, hope's and prayer's for your dad , family and for you. ~ I know that sometime's what we say is not as important as what we don't say. The true measure of love seems to say it all w/o speaking.
I understand the emotion's that you're feeling. Each one is normal and o.k to express. My dad was diagnosed at the age of 56 with a glioblastoma grade 4 in 1993.(brain c/a ) Dad lived 3 1/2 months. He too was not only my dad, friend , someone that would lend advise and an shoulder for me to cry on but he,like your father was truely loved..My family and I never gave up hope and faith. We searched for second or third opinion's.

My prayer for your dad , your family and yourself is that you tap into all of those miraculous moments , hold each other up in prayer and continue to fight the good fight. Each and every moment is a gift.I pray for your father's miracle.May he be healed and receive inner peace .God bless you all . JenniferB

#837 03-12-2003 04:37 PM
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Dear Kelly,
I want you to know I understand how you are feeling. It is very difficult when a parent is ill. My mom was diagnosed with Lymphoma in her brain and I was told that she would not live longer then 13 months and that she could not live alone. My mom lived for 5 years and for 4 of the years she did live alone. They were really special years for my mother and I. So many times Doctor's give us time frames that are so untrue.
I learned many life lesson's during that time. No One Has Any Idea How Long A Person Is Going to Live with an illness. If you ever need someone to talk to I will be here to listen.
Rosalie-Stage 1 Tongue Cancer


Rosalie
#838 03-25-2003 12:21 PM
Joined: Jun 2002
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hi kelly. my name is kym. my dad has stage 4 oral-pharyngal cancer. he had chemo and radiation at the same time.after treatment his health continued to deteriorate. they ended up sending him to the mayo clinic. there they are 99% sure his cancer never even left. at this point he has decided on no treatment. they gave him a life expectancy of a year. he is only 55 yrs old. iam 26. i did not think i was going to have to deal with this.if you need to talk email me at [email protected].


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