Amy. My husband always hated anything on or around his face. When it came time for the radiation and the mask I was so worried that he wouldn't be able to handle it. It wasn't easy, but he did it. He was so frightened having cancer, that he would do anything to wipe out this hideous disease. It was tough, but if he got thru it, so can you. Just think of it as "this may be saving my life". When you start, count down the days and you will be surprised how fast they go. Jim gets his 2nd CTscan tomorrow. I called the nurse at oncology and told her to tell the doctor that if the report is bad, not to tell him unless he asks. When the brutal doctor told him that he had less that a year to live, he started to withdrawal and now we have the recurrence on his jaw. I have my days, but I try so hard to be positive. I am praying for a miracle. Good luck to you Amy---I'll be thinking and praying for you. Lots of love, Claudia

I can relate to anxiety and panic attacks. I was on Zanax the entire time I was in treatment.

Amy,

There are Shands Hospitals in both Gainesville and Jacksonville. My RO's wife, also an RO, is based in Jax. Being able to be treated at Shands is what saved my life. I was referred to the clinical research and teaching teams for head and neck cancer and Medicaid never questioned a single thing - not tests, procedures, costs, nothing. I imagine that the costs billed to them were probably less than they may have been by a private Doc because of the very nature of the department, but I never saw a bill or was asked anything at all about payment. They took care of everything (especially me).

While I was receiving rad & chemo in Gainesville, I stayed free of charge at Hope Lodge, which is run by the American Cancer Society for out-of-towners in treatment. I really had nothing else at all to worry about, leaving me free to focus on fighting and beating this horrible "thing" inside of me - and I had a heck of an army behind me. This is just my opinion, but I would say that if you have the opportunity to go to Shands, take it!

By the way, my #2 son is career Navy and he just got transferred to Pensacola. He'll be there Nov 2nd for the closing of the house he's buying there. I can't wait. This is the closest he's been in the 16 years since he joined.

Take care and be strong. I know you can do it.

Lani

Ditto what everyone else said, Amy. You CAN get through this. Get a prescription for some pills to relax you and then once you get into the room, keep your eyes CLOSED and forcus your mind on a mental image of someplace that you love to be. Somewhere with peace and calm. I used to picture myself in the forest. Light playing at the tops of the trees while I walk in the quiet shadows of the undergrowth. You can hear the leaves growing. Hold the picture of that spot in your mind. Smell the cedar. Before you know it - the treatment will be over.

Donna

Hi got up early cause was thinking of you today and wanted to wish you all the best today and encourage you...YOU can do this and you will come out stronger cause you did...Find your safe place and stay there till you know its over...Take care and be strong

Dianne

Amy,

Please get another opinion before you have a neck dissection, especially on both sides. I had 5 opinions and Moffitt, a CCC, told me that I would not need a ND due to the size of my nodes (2 but both less than 2 cm) and that the radiation would most likely kill all the cancer. They also said that I could always have it dealt with post Tx, if needed but they didn't think I would have to and so far so good. Unnecessary surgery is never good.

further surgery would be post TX. My nodes are R 3.5cm and 4cm
adv by my second first opinion said it would most likely not take care of the bigger one. The second opinion says that both need to come out, regardless. Since the second opinion is a head and neck oncologist I am most apt to listen to him.

I am tying not to panic. I just have to do it to get better. There is no other option.
Thanks everyone.

That's great that you are hearing from more than one doctor and lets hope that the radiation does the trick and you can avoid the ND's.

Amy, you undoubtedly are an intelligent person and you know what has to be done so just go with the flow and take the clamping as a challenge. YOU CAN DO IT!! Did they have the Little Red Train story when you were in the first grade? That Little Red Train has helped me more than once in my life.

Ladies and Gentlemen. I am back home.
Because I DID IT! Radiation and Chemo to start one week from today!

Amy,

I knew you could and would!!! Keep up that fighting spirit! (But now you can go take a nap, if you want. )

Lani