I know this has been discussed. I have read the post. BUT I JUST HAD A PANIC ATTACK. Ct sims. Mask fitting. Call it what you want. I cried. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't think about something else, because I couldn't think. I had to go home. Rescheduled for tomorrow morning. 1mg Lorazepam precribed. I didn't see anything to play music. I have to be able to do this, I really don't see as I have a choose. But I have no idea HOW I am going to be able to do it.
Can anyone help me?
Amy

I can totally empathize sympathize and understand what you are saying...I wish I had a magical solution to your problem as mine is the same...I am extremely fortunate at this point have not had to have radiation treatments but yet I know that I would react the same as you have...despite being told to take deep breaths or thinking about something else I give you credit for even deciding to go through with the treatments and now that you are more familiar with what is going to happen you may be a little more relaxed. I can immagine how intimidating being constricted would be. For music if you have an mp3 or anything like that they have small speakers that can attach...or a portable cd player can hook up to these portable speakers...or a boom box
The other thing that helps me is detatching myself from myself it sounds wierd but that is the only way I actually went through with my surgery the hour and a half trip to hospital...I would find one thing and just focus on it like something in the room or for me it was stone necklace (kinda spiritual)focused on the smoothness, the feel of it in my hands...Please let us know how you make out. I will keep you in my thoughts as I may need the same support some day and if there is something that works for you you have to know you are not alone and it may work for others as well...Take care sweetie and for tonight try a long hot bath some candles and soothing music...just try to relax...

Thinking of you

Dianne

Amy

Im so sorry you are going thru such a rough time. First stop for a second and close your eyes. Take a few slow deep breaths and try to slowly relax yourself from your toes to the top of your head.

It can be very scary doing the mask for radiation. I did it too. While I didnt have any panic attacks, I did experience the maks which can be difficult to deal with.

Ask the techs to play music for you. The techs are there to help you so let them guide you. If you need meds to be calm, its ok, dont feel badly about that. Everybody gets thru this a bit differently.

I used to close my eyes and pretend I was lying on a warm sunny quiet beach. I never even opened my eyes the whole time I did the 35 rad tx, not even once. I programmed myself to close my eyes when I layed down and not to open them until the mask was being lifted off. Soemtimes if I was nervous, I would count as high as I could go. There also was the music which helped too. Try to think of something that calms you and make use of it even if its only some wonderful memory of the past.

Good luck with this, you can do it

Amy, I definately know what you are talking about. I had the same thing happen to me. I am clostrophobic and I have panic attacks since I was a child. When they put that mask on me I kept fighting the panic attack and trying to fight it and by the 2nd day I was crying and couldn't stop. One thing is I am held down, the mask is so tight and the neck area chokes me as well. The radiologist told me to wait for a minute and talk to my oncologist. I told her I didn't know what he could do because I took a xanax before the treatment and it didn't help. He had them to cut the nose part off the mask and I could breathe a little easier. Now I am still fighting the clostrophobia and panic attacks but just that little bit did help some. I know I want to get better so I will fight this with all my might. Talk to your Doctor's and they will help you make it through. I have to stay in there 25 minutes and it does get tough, but it does get better. God bless you, Angel

Amy,

Where are you being treated? I go to Shands at UCF in Gainesville. If you read my first post, you'll see that I started out with a local ENT, but soon needed much more than he could offer. I'm not insurable (medically challenged one way or another all of my life) and also medically needy. I think that is why I was fortunate enough to be sent to Shands for the very best care. Who knows if an insurance co or HMO would have pulled out all the stops like the county and state did to save me.

I know it's scary, but you want this blasted (being clean here) thing dead and gone, so you'll get through it. I tended to think of it as a separate entity trying to take over and my fighting spirit kicked in and overpowered my fear.

Do you have anyone to go with you - family or friend? It might help. Actually, I'm stronger without the company. I tend to keep it together unless there's someone with me to catch the pieces. I do like the company for the drive to and from, though, and sometimes it hasn't been a good idea for me to drive the 6 hours round-trip.

Diane's "detaching myself from myself" is how I got through a lot of this, too. It helps with pain, also. My Gram used to say "This too shall pass". It also helps if the Doc and assistants know how you're feeling. They helped me a lot with their reassuring words and gentle kindness. You should be better tomorrow - you already know what to expect, and do take that med to help calm you. You'll do just fine. Get mad at the cancer and fight back. That fighting spirit leaves less room for the fear.

My very best to you,

Lani

Amy,

Just tell yourself that it's a must. It's not easy and nobody has a good time going through these txs. I can barely swallow and get enough calories but I'm trudging through this dark tunnel. You know why? It's a must. One step at a time, one tx at time, one problem at a time, one day at a time. You can do it because you have too. Try to think of all the the important things in your life and how you want more. Think about all the important people in your life, hopes, love, time and if it helps--God. One step at a time. You can do this...

Amy,

Talk to your docs and see what they can prescribe for you. Take your own boom box if you have to. Please try to relax and please find a way to do it as your life depends upon the radiation. There is no other way.

Amy, you can do it! I have told my doctors they should show you a video or give you some kind of brief about the procedure before taking you in and the next thing you know they're pressing that damn mask on you. I too never opened my eyes throughout the tx and would go in would an "agenda" in my mind e.g. thinking/playing a round of golf in my mind, reliving vacations at the beach, visiting with relatives from the past, working business deals, etc. Anything to relax and try and forget where the heck I was and what was going on around me. I had a poster chart and marked off each visit - a countdown from 34 which also helped. Your time will come to X out the final treatment . .. we feel your anxiety and wish you the best.

Hello Amy,
I recall my mom having the same issue as you. She panicked so bad that she made herself physically ill. They did prescribe ativan 1mg for her to get through it. In the beginning she was so frightened. She tried to tell me about getting the set-ups done and I couldn't imagine what she was saying, the next day I went and spoke with the techs and they let me see the table and her getting snapped in. I felt my own panic start to rise but I had to remain strong for her. This whole diesase is just awful and the tx's are mind boggling. I wasn't sure how to keep my composure...actually at first I had tears in my eyes that I hadn't realized were there. My mom looked over and said she was ok and I told her the truth that while I trusted the team, what she had to go through broke my heart. I left the room where she was and they let me stay in the "tech room"....for lack of a better word. I watched her whole 15 minute tx. They did have music that they piped in for her, can't recall what it was but it seemed to ease her. She was so brave, and did it 30 more times after that day and then a few weeks after she had brachy therapy. In the beginnning she made it through her Erbitux tx's. She is an amazing woman, very strong. She later todl me it helped her to have someone see her in there and to know what she was facing. I know it helped me and we could talk about her fears and I could semi understand what she was saying. Maybe you have a CG who can go and see what it is all about? I'll be honest with you, it's not easy seeing someone you love snapped down to a table with a wicked halloween mask over the head adn shoulders. If it weren't for these treatments, I know for certain that my mom would not be with us today. She is extremely claustrophobic. No matter how cold she can get hs ecan't weara coat in the car because it is too cumbersome. She's a little lady so it isn't for lack of room.
I know you can do this, if you need to PM me and I will give you her phone number and she could tell you her experience and how she made it through. Honestly, I think she prayed a lot. You are not alone, there are many here at your OCF family holding your hand and your heart.
Donna

Lani, you asked were I am being treated. I am on the otherside of the panhandle from you near Pensacola. I may have to go to Shands for my bilateral neck dissection. No one around here that is qualified will do it for what Medicaid pays them. My ENT is talking to an ENT oncologist in Pensacola to see if he might take on my case. Just cause he's a good guy. The last I heard he was up for it. I have meet him and have another appt with him in Nov. Very nice doc. The kind that takes time to talk to you. Not at you!
Donna, thanks for telling me about your mother. I will try and remember that she was able to do it tomorrow. Maybe someone can talk to me through the speaker. I did feel better with someone in the room.
Bill you are right a video might have helped. A video would show those doc and tech who is going to need special help and extra time. And I would have already had the happy pills so I wouldn't have wasted a morning for everyone involved!
I am scared of everything that I am going threw, but this was something else. As I told the tech I will just have to Man Up and do it. I just don't know how I will. My life depends on it. I know that! I believe that the more I do it that the more comfortable I will become, but BOY.
Anyone know of someone that couldn't make the radiation tx because of the dreaded mask? I wonder if there has ever been a person that called off the cancer treatment completely because of fear of the MASK. (I'm coming up with a better nick name for it, will let you know)
Amy