As I posted in a different thread, I have a swelling in my neck which I saw my oncologist surgeon for on Friday. He is going to do a cat scan to see what is up - could be lymph edema. He said he doesn't feel any tumour there but wants the CT.

I thought I was okay - calm - with this - then I started to read some other posts on here about how that part of the neck is a common place for the cancer to come back, about what has happened to others (not good), and I just freaked. Since then I have not been able to get past 30 seconds without that gut wrenching death fear settling in my gut.

I have been through two treatments for his horrid monster and I keep telling myself all the things I know are true - about not letting cancer steal today, about how its not cancer until they say it is, etc, etc, yet nothing is touching that knot in my gut this time.

I don't want it to be back. I don'r want to die. I am scared.

Donna

Donna,
Your fear is very understandable - but remember to take it a minute at a time - Don't let this thing eat you up - easy for me to say at a time like this, but it really isn't cancer until they say it is and then you still have lots of options. Hang in there, Donna and cling to this board. There are a lot of encouraging people out there...it is my life line to sanity.

Praying for you.
Paula

Donna,
I wish that words were able to calm all fears. Panic sets in and you don't know what to think anymore. Take a deep breath and don't let it take over. Like Paula said, "easier said than done" but know that many will pray for you. Be brave and clear your mind: It helps when waiting. Praying for you.

Noemi

Oh Donna,

I so know what you are feeling. But there are many positive outcomes and your doctor is seeking definition. Always best to have a cautious doctor who is thorough even if it does kick the anxiety up several notches. How soon is your CT scan? Hang in there, sending positive thoughts your way.

I still have the lump in my neck and the Dr saw it on the Pet, but I am ignoring it and living as best I can. I will say I didn't get the Pet for that but for a lump on ,my shoulder that gives me great pain straight up that muscle into my neck. It doesn't show Cancer but the Dr saw something in my neck that he thought he would see. LOL He isn't worried and neither am I. I sure pray you are OK and it's just a lump.