Just arrived back from the hospital from seeing the team .. the CT scan shows that cancer tumours in the tongue, neck and lungs are growing. 10% growth in the lungs in a period of one month.. 7 weeks of radiation and 3 rounds of chemo to the neck and lungs has had no effect on the lungs... even the oral cancer that existed on the tongue but was removed through surgery in June 2006 has also some how developed into something again ..

With her weak state they have decided to hold off from trying any drugs/treatment for a month. They say the average patient in this type of state, - where the cancer is not responding to treatment and with the growth levels .. the doctor is suggesting maybe 6 months... tho he cant really say ..

I dont know what options are left, dont even know where to turn to..

Im so sorry to hear about your mother. This must be such a difficult time for you. Try to stay strong. I will say a prayer for you and your mom.

I know exactly where you're coming from.
What's your mom's take on this?
For me, although chemo did shrink lung tumour by more than 50%, I know from my very visible and obvious symptoms in my neck, and the acute pain in my back and chest that things have moved on fast in the last couple of months.
My nearest and dearest know that I will accept palliative therapies which don't impact on my Quality of Life, but if they're not even offered, am going with the pain control/comfort option as soon as I can get it!
I have next biopsy Wednesday, rwsults and evaluation 2 weeks later.
What does your mom say/think/feel?
How old is she?

Brenda

Herson and Brenda, I hate this OC for doing this . I have your mother in my prayers and wish her well and you kkep you strength herson. I t will be tough on both of you. Brenda, I hope your biopsies show some type of improvment . You are a special person to me > One that has helped me thru some hard times and gave me courage. You are still in the prayers and will remain there..

My mom is 50, will be turning 51 in june..

She doesnt know that the average patient in her condition has "6 months" .. its something i asked when she was not in the room. She knows that the cancer is growing in her lungs/neck/tongue .. and she knows that as of right now they are deciding not to do anything .. .. though .. im sure she can tell, she has become weak and just like yourself she can feel the pain and so on throughout her neck/back/shoulders ...

I dont know if I should tell her, the doctor never told her, I really dont know anything no more

Since they have decided to relook at her in one month, I plan to look at some alternative treatments ..though the doctor said nothing has been proven, .. its better than just sitting around .. i think .. dont know how mom feels .. im sure we will all talk sometime today or this week ..

.. oral cancer .. never even heard of it .. now its the only thing i think about

TALK to her! You feel rotten so imagine how she feels!!
I knew I had cancer from Jan 11th 2006, took til June to get definitive diagnosis, am just past the 6 month stage and still 'hoping for the best, preparing for the worst'
Instead of researching alternative treatments or 'sitting around', take her out for the day, get the family photo album out, just ask her 'How do you feel? What do you think's going on?' type questions--judge your responses from that.
I've wanted to know from day 1, but lots of people don't -- and that's okay! caregivers need to 'go with the flow', but can only do that if they know the level of their loved one's understanding of their disease and how they want to handle it.
Your mom is young, and sounds like she may have a fighting chance--go with what the regular docs say and suggest.
Save your energy for being with/talking to mom, rather than looking at 'alternatives' which may be costly and ineffective.
'What will be, will be'--make the most of your time with mom
Brenda

Herson,

I'm so sorry for your mom and you. You both are in my thoughts. First of all has your mom been to a Comprehensive Cancer Center (CCC), as stated on this site many times before, they have the best and most up to date knowledge on this cancer. It might be worth looking into, you never know what cutting edge therapies is out there. If that is not an option, does your mom have good pain control medications, it will make a difference in the quality of her days. Be sure she gets what she needs to be comfortable. I hope the best for the both of you, and if not a miracle, then peace and acceptable.

Been there,

Nancy

Meant June 07, not 06.
And cheers to everything Nancy said.
Brenda

Herson,

Your mom is so young. We will keep you and your mom in our thoughts and prayers.

Hi Herson,

Your mom is four years older than me, my heart goes out to you as a mother. I probably have children your age and I know that they worry every day that they're going to lose me to this cancer and they know it's a very real possibility.

I talk to my girls alot about the cancer, what could happen, what will happen if IT happens and how they will be fine without me, etc. It helps them to share their feelings and fears with me. The oldest have made me promise to not keep anything from them. They want to know if I've been told I have a limited time left, because there are alot of things they want to do with me before that time passes. Your mom probably feels the same, and I bet you do also. She deserves to know how long the docs feel she has, she deserves to decide what to do with her time remaining AND to have this time to start learning how to accept it and deal with it.

Love,
Minnie

Minnie, you and Hersons mother are so young. If it were possible and I had a year left and could decide what to do with it,, I would give each of you 6 months of my time. This makes all of us sad when we hear such young people being so sick. I can offer my prayers and some of my stubbornness for you to use.

Moms make this world such a great place ..

Thanks for all the kind words .. I can only hope and pray for everyone here,

Treatment right now is at Princess Margaret Hospital .. in Ontario, Canada .. its supposed to be the best in Ontario, maybe even Canada...

One thing I have learned a little late. Get a second opinion just as soon as you can from a cancer center. That would be
the first thing I would do no matter what. Minnie did and it certainly helped her. Please use your energy for that if at all possible.
Debbie

Jim, that is the kindest thing anyone has ever said to me on this board. I remember when I was first diagnosed, I was 41, and my doctor told me that he usually doesn't see this type of cancer until a patient is in their 70's at least. I find myself thinking that I dont mind so much that I have the cancer, ust wish it could have waited another 25 years!! But then I remember that I'm much luckier than many that used to be a part of this board. First to my memory is Heather and Marcy, 28 and 32 respectively and both with a young daughter left behind.

Again, thanks Jim, it was really nice of you to say that.
Love,
Minnie

Herson, just remember that your mother will always be with you, even after this has run its course. I'm so fortunate, my mother AND my grandmother are still alive, healthy and going strong. My Great Grandmother just died 6 years ago, she was healthy until the day she died from old age. Healthiest family you could imagine..............and here I am dealing with such serious health issues! Anyone with their mother still alive and healthy, hug them, call them, do whatever needed to let them know how lucky you are that they are still here with them.