Vb...........Maybe its time to bring out the OLE Haugen Daas Ice Cream, if that won't fatten her up, I don't know what will! LOL All kidding aside, after losing over two thirds of my tongue, the floor of my mouth and then enduring both RAD and chemo I was in pretty much the same boat as your Mom was/is. Like Brian says, it takes a conscious effort in getting those extra calories down especially when food doesn't taste good and it is such an effort. You really do need to keep daily track of her caloric intake though just to see where she is at. Also visually when she can see that she needs more food/calories it might be a bit easier for her just to eat for the sake of eating. That is what I ended up doing. By writing everything down that I took in orally I was able to see for myself where I was falling short. Perhaps one or two visits with a speech therapist who specializes in swallowing/eating techniques would be beneficial to your Mom so she wouldn't be so embarrassed about eating in public. My husband tried to persuade me into eating, so did my mother in law and almost everyone who walked into my house. Like you said, you can lead a horse to water but.......

Milk shakes were soothing for me and easy to get down, you can add almost anything you'd like to a milk shake. Use soy milk, add breuers yeast, fruits, yogurt, ice cream, preferably Haugen Daas by far the most fattening and best tasting..LOL Shaved or crushed ice with blended fruit was always good for me too. You'll just really have to experiment and hopefully you'll come up with something that will help her along with this part of recovery. I remember clearly those difficult days of needing to eat, but just not wanting to eat, I did have a feeding tube to supplement my eating though so I could get the nourshiment I needed via tube; however, at some point I did need to begin to eat again orally. Another thing that I ate a lot of was steam/poached fish with butter. IF not over cooked, fish is very moist and easy to get down. Anyway, for me it was one of my favorite foods in the beginning. Scrambled eggs too.

I hope your Mom is able to get her caloric intake up so she doesn't have to have a feeding tube inserted. However, if she does end up with a feeding tube it really is no big deal and it may just give her some peace of mind over not having to worry about the food issue for a short while. Learning to re-eat and enjoy foods again is probably one of the most difficult parts of recovering from Oral cancer. I could smell food and even think I remembered what it would taste like, even the texture of the food and then I would go and take a bite of something I thought would be sooo enjoyable and NOTHING--I couldn't taste anything and I could barely feel the texture of the food I so once enjoyed. I don't have to tell you how frustrating that was! And then there were times no matter how good and inviting the food looked or smelled, I had no interest in it what so ever. I didn't want to eat, and I wasn't even sure I could eat. And then there was the intellectual side of me that knew if I didn't eat, I wouldn't heal as quickly and there was a possiblity I could end back up in the hospital with a tube in my nose. Like I said, it is all just very frustrating and just plain difficult. I also had such a dry, sore, mouth and so swallowing was at times very difficult for me....getting a whole new mouth/tongue practically is pretty tough to get used to at first.

Try and remember what your Mom is going through emotionally too. Being diagnosed with cancer, losing most of a vital organ, the fear of recurrence, and just the pain and suffering one goes through tends to take the appetite away too. Cancer is just tough stuff, no way getting around that issue.

You, too, have a difficult job being caretaker. My husband mentions now how "helpless" he felt, how difficult it was for him to witness me suffering, and how he wanted to do more but felt almost clueless as what to do next with what seemed like one crisis after another.
Honest to goodness there were times when my husband didn't think I'd ever eat REAL food again. He thought I'd be on the feeding tube forever and that I would never get better. But I did, and so will your Mom. It all just takes time, such a long time too it seems. I continued to lose weight after ending my treatment for about a month and my oncologist was very concerned about that. I don't remember when or how or even why the change took place in my eating habits but gradually I just was able to eat a bit easier, and a bit more food a little at a time. I'm guessing it is because I was finally feeling comfortable myself and with my "new" mouth and all the trauma that I had been through just fighting that ugly beast called cancer.

Tell Helen we're all rooting for her and a quick recovery! Assure her that she will indeed eat again and not only eat, but enjoy the food she eats once again. It will happen. It will take a long while, but slowly a change will occur. Keep us posted on your Mom and her recovery. SIncerely, Donna