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Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 35
Contributing Member (25+ posts)
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Contributing Member (25+ posts)

Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 35
Hello Fellow Caregivers,

"What I wish I had know then...veterans speak" is the final section in the Caregiver's chapter of the OCF book, Getting Through It.

Those of you who are or have been caregivers are the experts, having been/are there. What advice or thoughts can you share, now, that would have helped you immensely if you had known it--then/earlier.

In our case, for me, it was about letting go and accepting help. Friends, family, co-workers all offered, which is often an almost automatic response when someone is in crisis. I finally realized that not only did I need the assistance, they needed to contribute. And so began my list--of chores, tasks, car-pool, etc. When someone said, "What can I do?" I began to tell them. It was hard at first, and not everyone was able to, but those that did are extra special to us.

I would also say to someone just beginning this journey, "find a way to release your emotions--often!", whether it's a good cry with a friend, a hard workout or whatever works. If you're going to be a good caregiver, you have to take care of yourself.

What do you know that would help someone else?
Thanks,
Charlotte


Caregiver and wife of Tom: SCC BOT, mets to neck, T4. Dx 3/03: multi-drug chemo, IMRT, Tx 9/03, No surgery.
Joined: Jun 2006
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Posts: 13
Since reading almost all the posts on this site, I am astounded that "all of this" had taken place and I had never heard a thing about oc until my son was dx with it in March '06. Maybe it just didn't register. As an update, my son will go in for neck surgery the middle of August. So far so really good; he is back to old life right now, looks good, feels good. Now we must start the worry machine - can't help it.

Here is what I have taken away from this:

1. Don't wait to be examined - preferrably an ENT, they seem to have the most expertise in this area. If something persists, go again. You hate to be overly concerned, but it does seem hard to detect until pretty far gone.

2. Do not trust 1 doctor to accurately diagnose oc -I've read on this site that dentists, primary care doctors, even surgeons have missed the dx.

My son went to dentist every 6 months and waited a year to go to ENT. That's when the nightmare began, and if it is cancer it's still a hard blow but maybe the treatment wouldn't have to be so hard. Collie

Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 35
Contributing Member (25+ posts)
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Contributing Member (25+ posts)

Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 35
Collie,
Thank you for your words of wisdom, and sorry you had to learn in such a hard way. I read another of your posts and understand you son is doing much better. That is good news, indeed.
Warm regards,
Charlotte


Caregiver and wife of Tom: SCC BOT, mets to neck, T4. Dx 3/03: multi-drug chemo, IMRT, Tx 9/03, No surgery.

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